ohmidog!

I’m sitting in a coffee house in Baltimore. I won’t say which one, because this establishment permits dogs and if the city found out, they’d put a stop to it — because, in the city’s view, allowing dogs in establishments where food is served is unhealthy and might annoy some customers.

There is one dog downstairs, a German Shepherd mix. Upstairs, where I am, there’s a boxer.

She is sitting quietly, allowing me to get my work done. I don’t think she’s a health threat. She doesn’t smell. She seems friendly enough to not pose any danger to anyone. I don’t find her annoying at all.

The same cannot be said for the mommy group at the other end of the room –three of them, with their infants, and their infant gear and accessories, and the extra high squeaky voices they use when addressing their offspring. The babies, except for an occasional squeal, are quiet. The mommies talk non-stop, loudly, as if they were the only ones in the room, not noticing the periodic glares from the four people working on computers.

“I don’t get it, why some nights he’s up four times, and other nights he’s not. What am I doing wrong? Should I just go with the flow and deal with it, I mean, I don’t know.”

I’m not eavesdropping, really, it’s just that their conversation — about teething, about feeding, about meat loaf and hairdressers and daddy and sleeping through the night –keeps wafting over, unblockable.

“Frozen carrots — just cut off the thin part so she doesn’t gnaw it off. I’ll fold it in a paper towel and let her suck on it.”

If you think I’m about to propose banning mommy groups from public establishments, you’re wrong (though just barely). Instead, I’m merely pointing out — as a rattle shakes in the background, and a baby wails, and a diaper gets changed –that maybe dogs shouldn’t be banned either.