ohmidog!

Texas likes to tout its bigness, but, here in College Station, Saturday was a day to celebrate a breed that never rises more than a few inches from the ground — the low but not lowly dachsund.

Being in College Station, home of Texas A&M, for some book-related research, I found myself with some time on my hands Saturday, so I grabbed the camera and headed over to a local park where the Brazos County Animal Shelter’s “Wiener Fest” was being held.

It was just the second year for the event, but you couldn’t tell it from the huge crowd that turned out — most of them with their dogs, a surprising number with their dachsunds. Wiener Fest organizer Judy LeUnes said the event is based on a similar one held in Buda, Texas, south of Austin.

One reason dachsunds might be so popular in these parts, or so I’m told, is that this, College Station, as the name implies, is a college town, where a lot of students and others live in small apartments, making the dimunitive breed a popular pet.

Hundreds of them turned out for the festival, and most of them took part in the races. (They were up to the 35th heat when I finally left.) But there were dogs of all shapes and sizes, as you can see in the slideshow above, including one whose owner deemed him big enough to give a toddler a ride.

While the races were the highlight, the event also included a costume contest, agility demonstrations, music and, of course, barbecue.

The race heats were divided by age and sex, and there was one race for handicapped contestants — between two blind dachsunds and one, named Flip, who has no use of his hind legs.

Flip (you can see him in the slideshow) is owned by Jackie and Chris Curfman, who found him on the streets of Dallas when he was about eight months old. When he was 4, Flip jumped off their bed and herniated a disk, putting pressure on his spinal cord, causing him to lose function of his hind legs. He gets around (as he did in the race) via a wheeled contraption whose frame is made of PVC pipe.

Flip won his race, which just goes to show you, no matter how close to the ground you might be, no matter whether you’re propelled by paws or wheels, no matter whether you’re saddled with a moniker like “wiener,” one can — even in Texas — still stand tall.

Canadians are a bland and slow-witted people, prone to swilling beer, wearing plaid and playing ice hockey.

Eh?

Of course that’s not true, but then neither is this: Pit bulls are dangerous and unpredictable dogs that have the potential to attack without warning.

That’s what the Ontario Court of Appeal said Friday in a decision upholding the province’s ban on pit bulls, enacted in 2005. It prohibits the breeding, sale and ownership of pit bulls and requires they be muzzled when in public.

The Appeal Court ruled Friday that the ban on the breed does not violate any constitutional rights.

“The total ban on pit bulls is not ‘arbitrary’ or ‘grossly disproportionate’ in light of the evidence that pit bulls have a tendency to be unpredictable and that even apparently docile pit bulls may attack without warning or provocation,” the judges said in their decision Friday.

Then they all put on their tuques, went to an ice hockey game and drank Molsons. Not really. The point is, you’d think a high court in a country so sensitive to negative stereotyping would give a little more thought and study to an issue rather just relying on stereotypes — namely the bogus one that all pit bulls are prone to unprovoked violence.

Yes, there are violent pit bulls (generally the fault of their owner) — just as there are nasty poodles and slow-witted Canadians, but blanket indictments based on perception aren’t progress. They’re the opposite — a step backwards. They get us nowhere. 

Lawyer Clayton Ruby, who challenged the law, called it a “sad day” in Ontario. “Kind, loving, gentle dogs are being killed across this province for no reason,” he said in a statement, according to the Canadian Press.

“The provincial government should focus their efforts and resources on identifying truly dangerous dogs rather than apprehending and killing dogs that pose no threat at all,” he said.

Ruby said he is considering an appeal to the Supreme Court of Canada.

Jean-anne Moors of Banned Aid, a coalition fighting the ban, said the group was “very disappointed” with the ruling.

“I have three so-called pit bull-type dogs who are all legal under the law,” she said. “Everybody’s looking at me as if I’m some kind of criminal when I walk down the streets with my dogs. They have no history of aggression.”

Moors said the law sets a troubling precedent because it’s not just a pit bull issue.

“If a government … can make such an arbitrary decision that a dog is a bad and dangerous dog and seize it under certain circumstances and destroy it … that’s a matter of concern to anybody who has a dog – period.”

“Best In Show” the documentary-style send-up of the dog show crowd, will be shown at the Charles Theatre on Wednesday, Nov. 12th in a benefit for Baltimore Animal Rescue and Care Shelter (BARCS).

Tickets are available for $50, and the ticket price includes movie snacks and drinks. Paper tickets will not be issued, but there will be a master list of guests at the door. The event starts at 6 p.m., with the movie starting at 7 p.m.

To order, send a check (with “movie” written in the memo section) to BARCS, c/o Debbie Cameron, 149 W. Montgomery St., Baltimore, MD 21230. Be sure to include your phone number and e-mail address.

The clip above features one of my favorite lines in the movie: “We could not talk or talk forever, and still find things to not talk about.”