ohmidog!

Earl Simmons, better known as the rapper DMX, was sentenced in Arizona Friday to 90 days in jail and at least 18 months probation for theft, drug-possession and animal-cruelty.

Simmons pleaded guilty Dec. 30 to three felony counts — theft, possession or use of marijuana, and possession or use of narcotic drugs — and one misdemeanor count of animal cruelty.

The animal-cruelty and drug charges stem from an August 2007 raid that Maricopa County sheriff’s deputies conducted at Simmons’ home in Cave Creek, a Phoenix suburb. Authorities investigating a report of animal abuse found three dead dogs, guns, ammunition and drug paraphernalia, according to the Arizona Republic.

The 38-year-old rapper has been in the Maricopa County Jail since being arrested Dec. 9 in Miami on a warrant after failing to appear in court in Phoenix.

With apologies to my old Kentucky home for setting back its effort to overcome hillbilly stereotypes, we present Ernie Brown Jr., the Turtle Man — snagger of snapping turtles.

“I try not to smile cause I got my teeth knocked out by a chain saw,” he explains to the photographer in this piece for Kentucky Afield TV.

Brown, from Lebanon, Ky., calls himself “Kentucky’s best-kept secret” and “the poorest famous guy around.” Brown travels to farms and rids ponds of turtles causing problems such as biting horses and cows.

You can also find an excellent story and video about Brown in the Lexington Herald.

Brown, unlike most other turtle eradicators, works only with his hands. As for the shrill yell he emits with each catch, that’s not hillbilly — not purely a rebel yell, he explains — but half native American, as he says he is.

Though he says the turtles make for “good eatin’,” Brown insists he takes the turtles to ponds where they won’t cause problems. “I’m kind of like a warrior, like Robin Hood,” he says. “I bring a turtle out of this pond, put him in another where he won’t do no violence.”

“I don’t kill it,” says The Turtle Man. “I only catch it. Don’t never torture nothing. That’s my name of the game. That’s how you stay into it. Keep people liking you.”

I never knew this, but up in Canada they use their own ads during the Super Bowl.

Canadian stations buy the rights to air the Super Bowl in Canada, then sell the commercial advertising slots to Canadian advertisers.

Here’s one that aired up north for Autohound, an online used car dealership, featuring a basset hound with a thing for doggie porn. In another ad for the same company, the bassett hound gets on the computer to watch Greyhound racing.

Dogs, pigeons, Clydesdales, an ostrich, boar, rhino and water buffalo all made appearances in Super Bowl advertisements, and none of them were harmed in the process, according to the association that watches out for them.

The American Humane Association reports that 10 commercials featuring animals appeared during the big game, and that while some of them placed animals in outrageous situations, representatives monitoring the productions ensured that none was in danger. In every ad the association monitored, the advertiser succeeded in earning the “No Animals Were Harmed” designation.

“Thanks to decades of leadership from American Humane, film and television directors, producers and actors rely on American Humane to ensure the safety of animal actors,” Karen Rosa, director of American Humane’s Film & Television Unit in Los Angeles, said in a press release. “It’s especially exciting to see so many advertisers calling on our services as well. It shows that there is recognition of the importance of the human-animal bond and our fundamental responsibility to care for the animals that we interact with every day.”

Rosa noted that most TV networks will not air a commercial featuring an animal without American Humane’s sign-off letter stating that the production did not harm any animals.

American Humane is a 131-year-old organization with exclusive authority behind the “No Animals Were Harmed” end-credit disclaimer. All domestic productions working under the Screen Actors Guild contract are required to inform American Humane when using animal actors. However, enlisting American Humane’s help for oversight during filming is voluntary.

Love of Dog Bakery has chosen Recycled Love as its charity of the month, meaning 5 percent of the proceeds from all treats ordered in February will go the Baltimore rescue group.

You can read more about Love of Dog Bakery on our sponsors page.