ohmidog!

One of the benefits of being ostensibly unemployed is access to all the babes (if I might use that term) a guy could ever want. Just watching “The View” alone, one can get one’s fill, and then some, of females of nearly every stripe – liberal, conservative, shrill, sarcastic, blunt, shrill, smart, not so smart, shrill, skinny, full bodied, and did I mention shrill?

I tune into “The View” occasionally — usually when I need a reminder that being single is, as Martha Stewart would say, “a good thing.”

Still “The View” doesn’t give me everything, so, slightly more often, I tune into Rachael Ray, who is able to satisfy my remaining manly needs. There I find — though often in doses too large for my tastes – warmth, perkiness, sensitivity,  and what’s for dinner tonight.

Yesterday, in addition to learning about “the naughty side” of Julianna Margulies, of “The Good Wife,” and how to mix  fettuccine, prosciutto (which is a fancy word for ham), Brussels sprouts and a sprinkling of Parmigiano-Reggiano into a quick and easy meal, we viewers got to see Rachael go to the rescue of a New Jersey animal shelter.

The show feature a taped segment of Ray arriving — in a truck filled with a year’s supply of Nutrish dog food — at the All Humane Animal Rescue, Inc., in Wanaque, New Jersey.

She meets a few of the animals, including a pit bull with cigarette burns and two Chow Chow mixes who, due to neglect, had lost much of their ear fur, then hands over a $20,000 check to Lysa DeLaurentis, the rescue’s founder and an animal control officer who works for four different municipalities.

DeLaurentis, who appeared on yesterday’s show along with the two Chows — still in need of homes — takes in stray, abandoned and surrendered animals that might otherwise be euthanized and finds new homes for them. After a complaint from a neighbor, state officials visited and informed her that, in addition to structural improvements to the barn she kept the animals in, she needed a license.

With that, the single mother — though she lacked enough money to fully accomplish it — began making the improvements that would bring her operation into accord with state rules and regulations.

The check from Rachael Ray came just in time to help her get the work completed before winter.

Way to go, Rachael. I will keep you (if we can stay away from the Brussels sprouts) in my daytime TV talk show harem … as long as you don’t get shrill.

Blade, the German shepherd police dog who was mistakenly shot by a police officer Sunday appears to be recovering nicely, judging from this Baltimore Sun video.

The Sun’s Peter Hermann reports on his blog, Baltimore Crime Beat, that Blade suffered a gunshot in the left shoulder from a .40 caliber handgun.

Officer Steven W. Sturm, Blade’s handler, told reporters outside the Falls Road Animal Hospital that the dog might be able to go back to work. “He’s a tough dog,” Sturm said.

Blade was shot while pursing several people who bailed from a car whose driver evaded a traffic checkpoint. The dog’s handler released Blade from his leash and commanded him to track down the running suspects. A police officers who was approaching from the other direction, was attacked by the dog and fired his weapon, not knowing it was a police dog.

“They were just both in the same spot at the same time, and Blade was doing what he was taught to do,” Sturm said. He added, “It’s dangerous because unlike us … we see somebody with a gun or a weapon, or whatever, we will get out of the way. Dogs react totally the opposite. They go. No matter what they see, they’re going to be going unless we call them off.”

South Carolina Circuit Judge Diane Goodstein’s habit of bringing her dogs to work was never a problem in the old courthouse, but since opening a spiffy new one, Dorchester County Council members are squawking about it.

Amid rumors that there have been doggie ”accidents”  inside the shiny new $13 million courthouse in St. George, the county council — though it lacks the authority to set rules for the courthouse — has instructed the county attorney to draft a letter to the clerk of court “requesting” that animals not be allowed on the premises, except for service animals.

“The taxpayers paying for the building don’t bring their dogs to work. Other county employees don’t bring their dogs to work. Frankly, I’m surprised I’m having to make this request,” Council Chairman Jamie Feltner said.

The request leaves County Clerk of Court Cheryl Graham, a pet lover and board member of the local SPCA  in an awkward spot, the Charleston Post and Courier reported.  “That’s mighty nice of the council to put that on me,” she told the newspaper.

“It’s a little bit of an embarrassment that it would be an issue,” Judge Goodstein said. Her dogs are well-trained and haven’t soiled the courthouse’s hallowed halls, she said. She thinks the “accident” rumor might have stemmed from one day when she got down on her hands and knees to clean a construction worker’s mud tracks from the floor.

The judge, who routinely brought her Cavalier King Charles spaniel, Boykin spaniel and Airedale to work with her in the old courthouse — vacated earlier this year — says she’ll comply with whatever verdict the clerk of court reaches.

Chewey can stay in first grade.

A judge in Douglas County, Illinois ruled Tuesday that first grader Kaleb Drew, who has autism, can attend class with Chewey, his service dog.

The Villa Grove school district had opposed the dog’s presence, arguing he wasn’t a true service animal, and that other students might be fearful or have allergic reactions to him.

Judge Chris Freese sided with the Kaleb’s family, which argued that the yellow Labrador retriever is a service animal allowed in schools under Illinois law, according to an Associated Press report. The family said the dog is similar to a seeing-eye dog for the blind and is trained to help Kaleb deal with his disabilities.

Chewey has accompanied Kaleb to school since August under court order, pending the judge’s final ruling on the family’s lawsuit against the school district.

Similar lawsuits have been filed on behalf of autistic children in other states, including California and Pennsylvania, and another case is pending in Illinois involving 5-year-old Carter Kalbfleisch and the service dog that accompanies him to pre-kindergarten.

“I’m very pleased and happy that Kaleb and Chewey are going to get to continue their work together and continue to grow as a team and learn from each other,” Nichelle Drew, Kaleb’s mother, said after the ruling.

She says the dog keeps Kaleb from running in front of cars in the school parking lot, helps him feel calm and allows him to more easily transition from one activity to another.