ohmidog!

Reports of Casey Johnson’s funeral have been greatly exaggerated.

Both TMZ and RadarOnline reported the heiress was buried Sunday — without her dog Zoe, who is reportedly still alive.

Now, still more celebrity-centric websites are reporting that information was erroneous. No funeral has taken place.

Nicky Hilton and Bijou Phillips, Johnson’s lifelong friends, went to the home Johnson shared with Tila Tequila last week to pick up Johnson’s two dogs, Zoe and Elvis.

Johnson before her death had expressed her wishes to be buried with Zoe’s cremated remains, and Tequila insisted there were plans to put the dog asleep so that it could be buried with the Johnson & Johnson heiress.

Spokesmen for the family have denied the claim.

UPI, based on information from TMZ,  reported today that the dogs have not been put to sleep and are with Johnson’s family.

The whole thing — too many celebrities, too much drama, too many lies, too many abbreviations and all the shabby reporting – is giving OMD a headache.

In his weekly commentary on CBS’ “Face the Nation” yesterday, Bob Schieffer passed along some anonymous wisdom, well worth sharing, about what we can learn from dogs.

The man who invented Neuticles – those artificial testicles designed to keep a neutered dog’s manly pride and appearance intact — is back with a new product, this one designed to keep a dog’s ears erect.

Missouri inventor Gregg Miller has created ear implants for use in dogs who have had their ears cropped, only to have them flop again.

Ear cropping — generally frowned upon by the animal welfare community — is a procedure conducted mostly at the behest of breeders and the dog show crowd to get a dog’s ears to stand up straight, as called for in some kennel club breed standards.

Because the cropping process doesn’t always take, or injuries can cause an erect ear to go floppy, Miller felt the need to create a product that, once surgically implanted, would keep a dogs ears straight — something dogs probably could care less about, though their owners sometimes do.

“PermaStay Ear Implants”  are now available on Miller’s website, Neuticles.com, along with the polypropolene testicular implants (available in original, natural and ultra plus) and silicone eye implants for cats, dogs and horses.

“The direction I’m taking now is that I want to create whatever implantable device there is for pets,” Miller told Gatehouse News Service. “Then everybody will know my company is the implant company, the eyes, the ears, the testicles, and God knows whatever else.”

Miller said he began working on the ear implants about five years ago, after requests from customers.

The ear implant is a patch of  thin surgical mesh, with a plastic spine that helps support the ear. The ear implants, like Neuticles, must be installed surgically, so that the dog’s tissue actually grows around the prosthetic.

Miller admitted there was a lot of trial and error in developing the product.

“Everything would go fine at first, five or six weeks,” Miller says. “After that, these hideous infections would develop. The ear would swell up and blood and puss would spurt out. It was horrible.”

But he (sarcasm alert) bravely (end sarcasm) pressed on, and found that by using surgical mesh, further infections were avoided. The device is $400. The surgery cost is from $300 to $600. About 40 dogs have gotten the ear implants. “The dog doesn’t even know it’s there, it’s so humane,” he said.

Miller, a former newspaper editor and reporter, created Neuticles about 15 years ago. The Neuticles website also features a line of merchandise, from barbecue aprons (pictured above) to earrings made out of Neuticles.

Now there’s a gift that says … God only knows.

And one you probably need about as much as your dog needs ear implants and Neuticles.

A New York dog may have been executed for a crime he didn’t commit.

Suspected in the death of six alpacas at a neighboring farm in Forestburgh, Nubis, a Belgian malinois, was shot by an employee at the farm — five days after the alpacas were found dead.

Now, a report issued by an animal control officer says there’s no evidence connecting Nubis to the alpaca attack.

The dog belonged to Ben Wechsler, neighbor of Stuart Salenger, who owns the farm. The two men have a history of not getting along, according to the Times Herald-Record.

Animal Control Officer Arnold Burger said the likely culprits in the slaying of Salenger’s animals were coyotes, not dogs, and that photographs provided by Salenger are insufficient evidence to confirm the dog was shot in the alpaca pen. The photos show the dog’s body in two locations, he said. Salenger said his farm workers removed the dog from the pen because the body was bothering his animals.

(Photo courtesy of Peter K. Bertine, Jr.)