ohmidog!

I base this report mostly on advertisements shown during the first half of last night’s Super Bowl — for I began to tire during Madonna’s BRIDGESTONE halftime show.

In the first half of the game, I kept track of ads, and according to my tally — and in accordance with my predictions — dogs were theme No. 1 in this year’s Big Game commercials, topping that perennial favorite, sex.

By halftime, we’d seen the controversial SKECHERS greyhound racing ad — mildly funny, at best — VOLKSWAGEN’S “Bark Side” and a DORITO ad featuring a Great Dane (above) who gives his owner some chips to buy his silence regarding the family cat’s mysterious disappearance.

Dogs played smaller supporting roles in two other ads by then, so at halftime I had it scored this way:

Dogs five, Sex three.

While sex seemed to be gaining in the second half, it scored only three times in the first, with GO DADDY’S body painting bit, David Beckham promoting either underpants or himself (I’m still not sure), and an ad featuring model Adriana Lima for the flower delivery outfit, TELEFLORA. Lima, once she is dressed, explains to us that, on Valentine’s Day, and perhaps all other days, men must give to “receive.”

Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.

To me, that one was far more offensive than the Skechers ad, which an anti-greyhound racing group was protesting because it was filmed at a greyhound park with a poor safety record, and because they thought it would glorify a sport it finds cruel to animals.

In it, Mr. Quiggly, a French bulldog wearing athetic shoes, bests a group of greyhounds at a racetrack, winning by such a large margin that he pauses and then moonwalks backwards across the finish line — sort of like the Giants final touchdown, that touchdown they didn’t really want.

Still, scoring is everything, as the Teleflora ad tells us: Spend money on a female, perhaps in the form of a nice bouquet, and you will get you some.

Running just behind dogs and sex was the theme of death, destruction and other matters apocalyptic, including ads for several doomsday movies and one for cars that, along with their owners, survived the end of the world.

In fourth place were cute babies. Both DORITO and ETRADE ran baby ads in the first half — the latter featuring the now famous market-savvy talking baby, the former featuring a baby fired from a sling to grab a bag of chips.

DORITOS — though its dog-related ads often have a bit of a mean streak (like last year’s of a taunted pug smashing  through a door) — scored with a second dog ad in the second half, depicting a dog park where humans perform tricks and line up for a salty treat.

Our pick of the litter? Weego, the rescued mutt who, whenever he is called – “Here, Weego!” — responds by fetching a BUD LIGHT for the caller. That’s not exactly new ground in beer advertising, but this time, the star was a rescued mutt, a scrawny little dog who oozed far more personality than any of the personalities in the Super Bowl ads, like Mark Cuban, Donald Trump and Clint Eastwood. Better yet, the ad included a pitch for rescuing dogs — and referred viewers to a Facebook page where they could learn more.

Also making a strong showing were “inspirational” ads from GE, celebrating the American worker, and at least two beer ads that seemed to be celebrating the end of prohibition, nearly 80 years ago.

The most powerful, and curious, advertisement shown during the Super Bowl was Clint Eastwood’s pitch for CHRYSLER (or was it for America?). The ad shows dismal-looking footage of Detroit as Eastwood tells us, “It’s halftime in America.” Then he goes on to talk about the resilience of Americans — how, via our bootstraps and given our inner strength, we can pick ourselves up and overcome anything.

It was a moody, somber but hopeful, piece — and maybe a tad ironic given the government bailout Chrysler received decades ago.

It was not an ad I wanted to hoist a celebratory drink to — after all, if it were truly halftime in America, that would mean we’d only have 235 years left – but it was definitely one that made me want to drink.

“Here, Weego!”

(For all our “Woof in Advertising” posts, click here.)

Call him a concerned citizen or a con man: An entrepreneur in the UK is apparently posing as a dog warden and issuing citations — payable on the spot — to people who neglect to clean up their dog’s droppings or let their dogs run unleashed in the park.

Dog owners in Ramsgate’s Ellington Park are being targeted by the man, who demands fines be paid immediately, and in cash, according to Thisiskent.com

The Friends of Ellington Park group has received complaints about the man who asks for 50 pounds from park users who run afoul of the law.

“We’re horrified to learn that someone may have been pretending to be a council dog warden and collecting money in this way,” said Thanet Council leader Clive Hart.

The council’s dog wardens do issue citations, but don’t require them to be paid on the spot, he noted.

Friends of Ellington Park chairperson Sheree Bell said the con is a result of a lack of official enforcement:  “There is an issue around dog fouling in the park and there aren’t enough dog wardens around, so it was only a matter of time before someone tried to cash in on it.”

A New York man who promised to take a friend’s dog to a farm in the country instead duct taped the dog’s mouth and legs and tossed him in a ditch, state police say.

Shane Morehouse, 52, of Fort Edward, was charged Saturday with animal cruelty and abandoning an animal — both misdemeanors, the Saratogian reported.

Police say the dog belonged to an acquaintance of Morehouse who could no longer care for the dog.

“The dog’s owner said he was going to be released on the farm,” state police Sgt. Chuck Salaway said. “Morehouse apparently changed his mind and left it along the side of the road without any concern over what was going to happen to it.”

If convicted, he faces a maximum sentence of one year in jail.

The dog, a 12-year-old malamute mix named Chubby, was taken to a local SPCA, where he was euthanized after he was found to be suffering from an unrelated illness.