ohmidog!

One of the advantages of being a fiercely independent website that makes no money is that we don’t have to hold back in fear of upsetting advertisers, or potential advertisers.

Our ads are clearly marked as ads. We don’t sneak any in between the lines, we don’t use pop-ups, or blind links, or otherwise use our editorial space to sell anyone’s stuff. Thus, we are beholden to no one, except the Internet, and maybe Google.

That allows us, from time to time, to poke a little fun at what we see as new pet products that — while not totally useless and silly – maybe aren’t the  innovation, breakthrough or revolutionary cure-all they are being ballyhooed as.

Last week, for instance, we, in a mostly humorous vein, wrote about a new product called Dog Flags, banners for dogs or their leashes that, while you could easily make one at home, are being marketed in five colors with five labels, from “Friendly” to “Please Don’t Approach” – not that we found them to be an entirely bad idea.

Here’s an entirely bad idea.

Just in time for next Halloween, PetPaint will hit the market — non-toxic paints in a variety colors that you can use to paint your dog so that he looks like another kind of animal, or anything else you want.

I’m not saying they pose a clear health hazard, or that it’s the end of the world,  just that pet painting is the kind of behavior – annoying to and disrespectful of canines — that humans, being a far more peculiar species, will likely be prone to go overboard with.

I learned of the new product in an email from the company, announcing their presence at the upcoming Global Pet Expo, which is underway through Friday in Orlando.

“From decking your dog out in your favorite sports teams colors to dressing them up for the holidays, it’s always fun for pet owners to interact with their pets,” read the email. “But let’s be honest — most dogs don’t like wearing clothes, and while they might let you dress them up, they will spend the rest of the day trying to shake it off. Enter PetPaint, the first ever clinically tested colored furspray for dogs. PetPaint is changing the way people celebrate occasions with their furry friends.”

The founder of PetPaint is Abe Geary, who says he was inspired to create the product by his two furry companions –  Billie and Monkey, one a Giant Schnauzer and the other a rescue terrier.

“With PetPaint, safety comes first, followed by top quality as a close second. PetPaint is specially formulated, non-toxic, and veterinarian approved. It has undergone rigorous clinical testing to ensure complete safety. Available in a wide range of colors, PetPaint is made with the highest quality color pigment, so that it can show up even on dogs with dark coats.”

Harmless fun? Maybe. But at the risk of being labeled a party pooper — as happens when I speak ill of dressing your dog excessively — I’ve got to ask again: Why not let your dog be a dog? 

Is he (or she) not already a priceless work of art? What’s to be gained by turning them plaid, making them polka-dotted or transforming them into  skunks, tigers or zebras?

I’d guess most painted dogs would spend the rest of the day trying to lick the paint off. And I’d guess most people who paint their dogs, because their dogs are tolerating it, because it’s attention, will jump to the conclusion their dogs “like it.” There will be those who see it as the coolest thing ever.

And they’ll be wrong. Their dog is.