With some breath mints, a haircut and the right breed of dog, even you could get a date!


According to Klooff, what I need to do is get a golden retriever, or a Siberian husky, or a French bulldog — and then just wait for women to line up in hopes of dating me.

Based on findings in a survey conducted by Klooff, a new iPhone app for pet lovers, those are among the dog breeds that best attract women.

“Pets are great for lots of different things; for companionship, for fun romps at the park, and even for getting a date,” said Alejandro Russo, co-founder of Klooff. “That’s why we built Klooff, so people can express themselves through their pets. And possibly even find a little romance while at it.”

I find it revolting — maybe not Klooff itself, but this particular avenue the humans behind the app have chosen in a quest for publicity.

It’s dogsploitation at its worst. It reduces dog to an accessory — one that can help you “express yourself” and get you dates. It makes dogs the equivalent of those Axe products that purport to attract women, like flies to dog poop.

If the main reason you are getting a dog is to attract humans of the gender you are seeking — be it for a date or a long-term relationship — don’t get a dog.

If you are getting a dog for other reasons, but want to factor in which breed would serve you best as you go about your courting and woo-pitching, don’t get a dog.

If you think that a dog’s breed is all you need to know — that breed alone determines every facet of a dog’s personality and behavior, thereby making him 100 percent predictable — don’t get a dog, at least until you do a little more research.

This is where Klooff goofed – not only in reducing dog to a sort of pimp, but by relying on often faulty breed stereotypes and generalizations far too wide.

Here’s a sample of their pun-laden press release:

Just what are the best breeds for singles?

It’s no secret that taking your dog for a walk during these upcoming dog days of summer is a great way to meet other singles, make a connection, and potentially land a hot date. But what dog breeds give men and women the best chance of getting a “leg up” on the competition in the “dog eat dog” world of dating and romance?

A new international poll on what goes on in one of the hottest singles scenes – at the dog park – suggests certain breeds are the “cat’s meow” in navigating the “ruff” world of dating, whereas others hinder their chances of success. The survey illuminates what types of dogs men and women should own to attract their next girlfriend, boyfriend, hookup, or soulmate…and which dogs to completely stay away from.

I will point out here that my dog Ace has gotten me dates — in fact, pretty much every date I’ve had in recent years. I would go so far to say that, while he smells much worse, he works much better than Axe deodorant, or body spray or hair styling products. But that’s an unexpected benefit, not the sole or even main reason he came into my home.

Although it was once the case, in today’s society most of us no longer choose dogs based on the work they can do for us – unless you are a shepherd, or a hunter, or a dog show ribbon seeker.

Today we choose them for companionship — for the love they bring into our homes, as opposed to the varmints they can chase away, or the potential suitors of our own species they might attract.

The Klooff app, though, is indicative of a mindset that still lingers – despite the evolution of dogs, despite the evolution of our thinking about them:

Looking at dogs solely in terms of what they can do for us.

The notion of getting a dog for the purpose of spicing up your romantic life is selfish — on par with ruining a pristine natural environment to feed your whims.

The notion that you should choose a dog based on how well its breed reportedly attracts humans of the gender you are seeking is equally unwise.

Klooff ranks breeds in terms of their ability to attract dates. The lists are based on a survey Klooff says is  ”representative of 1,000 pet owners and non-owners.” It presents the results in countdown style:

The top dog breeds to attract men were:
5. Beagles
4. Poodles
3. Chihuahuas
2. Labrador Retrievers
1. Golden Retrievers

The top dog breeds to attract women were:
5. French Bulldogs
4. Siberian Huskies
3. Labrador Retrievers
2. Golden Retrievers
1. German Shepherds

Klooff is a newly launched mobile app that lets users create profiles for their pets, allowing them to upload pet photos and interact with other pet lovers, “and maybe make the dog park dating scene a little easier.”

According to Klooff, many men see women who own Chihuahuas as dumb, and as “one-night stands” as opposed to “girlfriend material.”

According to Klooff, men who own retrievers are seen as “great dads,” men who own a Siberian Husky are seen as “manly,” and men who own bulldogs, boxers or Rottweilers are seen as “just a hook up.”

According to Klooff — and this is the one that bothers us most — the man who owns a pit bull or Rottweiler is seen as ”slimy” or “sketchy.”

Klooff calls their rankings “scientific.”

If you believe that, you probably own a Chihuahua.

Just kidding.

(Photos by John Woestendiek)

Posted by jwoestendiek June 13th, 2012 under Muttsblog.
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Comments

Comment from Starla
Time June 13, 2012 at 8:58 am

Well, I have been married to my wonderful “slimy”, “sketchy” hubby for 33 yrs now & we have 2 pit bulls, a rottweiler & a beagle. We lost our beloved first pit bull to cancer almost 8 yrs ago. All of our dogs are rescues & we have fostered a number of pit bull type dogs for a local rescue over the years. Thanks, but no thanks, Klooff! You should really do some unbiased research! Lot’s of ladies luv the velvet coated blocky head dogs & their big hearted men! Thanks for the story John! I won’t be buying that app! LOL

Comment from Anne’n'Spencer
Time June 13, 2012 at 11:17 am

Hmm. After a very happy 37-year marriage, I can honestly say that attracting men isn’t, and hasn’t been, on my list of things to do.

But I can say that the Beagle is a great conversation-starter with men of all ages, races, and economic backgrounds. The conversation is almost always the same:

“Hey, it’s a Beagle.” (Hand is extended, chin is scratched or ears ruffled…) “Hey, Buddy!” (The Beagle’s nickname is always Buddy).

This is followed by a smiling, nostalgic look and a statement to the effect that “My Granddad/Uncle Fred/Cousin Rick always had a Beagle or two back at his farm/cabin/country estate in West Virginia/Virginia/North Carolina. I used to love to play with Buddy when I went there during the summers as a kid.” Occasionally, the statement is “We had a Beagle when I was a boy. I still miss him.” And it inevitably concludes with “Great dogs!”

For some reason, this conversation is much more likely to take place with males, though I have had occasional nostalgic chats with women. I have to confess that a few of the people who’ve stopped me have made me a bit nervous, but I’ve never had an unpleasant interaction. I can also say that when Greg was with us, he had plenty of these conversations as well.

I guess Beagles are everybody’s childhood friend. I have to admit that the app sounds pretty lame. I think better advice would be, “Get out with your dog and make friends with whoever is out there.”

Comment from baltimoregal
Time June 13, 2012 at 12:44 pm

I always found Ace very attractive!
I am not particularly attracted to (over any other dog) Retrievers. And not particularly fond of Siberian Huskies or German Shepherds- still don’t mind ‘em too much, but definitely not attractors for me. I think a man with a french bulldog is an odd choice, frankly. Give me a man with a mutt, especially one with some pit bull in it, and I’m in love. Better yet, give me a man who is in love with MY pit bull mix. There you go!

Comment from baltimoregal
Time June 13, 2012 at 12:45 pm

…I also don’t believe men are attracted to poodles and Chihuahuas. NEVER encountered that.

Comment from Barbara
Time June 13, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Ace isn’t just a chick magnet… he draws everyone in. I’ve seen that gentle giant’s charisma & when people find out he’s a cross between four of the so-called scary breeds. (rottweiler, pit bull, akita, chow), I think he does more to destroy the myths than all the talking people do.

Comment from Rachele
Time June 13, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I’d date you just because you can write what so many felt about that horrid survey, thank you!

A truer breakdown isn’t possible and you hit the nail on the head with each statement.

It’s rather appalling that anyone anywhere would chose to date or not date someone based on breed of dog. Of course, there are still some unenlightened folks who choose mates based solely on color of skin so although this is disturbing, we shouldn’t be completely surprised.

As an advocate for the American Pit Bull Terrier I will say that I refuse to date anyone that hates the APBT but that has more to do with them and their lack of dog knowledge or an open and educated mind than it has to do with the actual dog breed. Truth be told, I’d also refuse to date someone who hated any breed of dog or who would be so ignorant to judge someone based on which breed of dog they own.

Comment from Victoria
Time June 13, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I own a pitbull which I rescued six months ago and I have met more men because of her. And they are often great, compassionate guys because they know the value of a rescue dog! I don’t see them or myself as “sketchy” or just a hook up, sorry. Surveys aren’t science.

Comment from jwoestendiek
Time June 13, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Rachele, Let me see what the survey says about people who have Lamprologus ocellatus as pets. Then maybe I’ll give you a call.
Thanks for your comments.
John / ohmidog!

Comment from Katherine
Time June 13, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Were I not a happily married woman, I could have picked up many a date when walking my two pit rescues. Not just because of their breed or looks (which is awesome and both are gorgeous), but they’re both impeccably trained, gracious and affectionate. This dumb app aside, if you want people to notice you for your dog, it’s their personality/demeanor that will bring the attention.

Comment from Rachita
Time June 13, 2012 at 5:10 pm

My pittie attracted my boyfriend :) Which two years later has become his first dog, and he’s now as big of a supporter for the breed as I am!! Although I remember when we met he said, ..If I ever got a dog I’d want a beagle or a husky and I thought to myself, oh boy he knows nothing about dogs :p
I don’t think he thought I was slimy, but maybe that doesn’t transfer if I’m a girl.

Comment from vida
Time June 13, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Hey, I have a chihuahua mix and even I don’t believe this nonsense! And this is a great article, dog’s are not accessories or trendy bling, they’re sentient beings that is we’re lucky love us. Sometimes I really wonder why.

Comment from robert schlosser
Time June 14, 2012 at 11:27 am

I adopted my GS mix because of his personality and that is what draws evryone to us when we are out walking- he has a squeak and a butt wag for every human he sees. It’s too bad too many people only have a dog as an accessory and not as their friend or companion. You can see that with a lot of celebs.

Comment from Darlene Sanders Harris
Time June 14, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Love pibbles… but til I can own one, I’ll just have to attract a guy with my pride of kitties. Can only imagine what the survey would think of that!

Comment from SarahKate
Time June 15, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Darlene – you may have just hit on something really important. Since everything is judged by everyone by the label attached to the “thing” if we made a concerted effort to change the trigger-words “pit bull” (with all its connotations under breed prejudice) to “pibbles” maybe some of the anti-breed prejudice would begin to dissipate. Pibbles is such a cute and harmless word. I am not being facetious or smart-alecky about this, I was a linguistics student before I had to go out in the world and earn a living, otherwise I’d have about twenty PhDs in linguistics and language theory by now. Labels really do create their own problems. I think we need a “pibbles” movement!

Re the original post – surveys schmerveys. Always an agenda and usually an unpleasant one! I didn’t even see Jack Russells on anyone’s list, not that that would attract moi to the JRT’s person, only to the JRT. Just sayin’. I always remember a dog’s name, seldom the accompanying human’s name. Sez it all doesn’t it!

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