ohmidog!

Shame on dogshaming.

If you haven’t heard of it, dogshaming is being described as a “new sensation sweeping the Internet” — though we see it as more evidence that the Internet needs a good sweeping.

Humans — supposedly a sentient species — are posting photos of their misbehaving pets, along with a sign outlining what bad behavior their dog participated in.

It’s all in good fun, of course, though we have our doubts whether the dogs being depicted would think so — any more than, say, your son or daughter  would if you posted a photo of them and recounted their misbehaviors.

Apparently, rather than train their dogs, some people find it a better use of time to  photograph them with a sign stating the pet’s misdeed, and post in on the Internet.

The Dogshaming Tumblr site displays those submitted — no matter how foul the offense.

Most often they are things like humping, puking, farting, pooping, burping, groin-scratching, furniture destroying or vicious behavior.

All things — we’d note — that human males get away with regularly.

Dogshaming had more than 115 posts within a week of its creation, according to the “Today” show website, Digital Life.

One report describes the site as “payback” — a chance for dog owners to get even with their dogs for whatever it is they did. In those rare cases where that’s really a pet owner’s motivation  — as opposed to trying to be funny — we’d suggest maybe you’re not ready for a dog, or for children, or for seventh grade.

“If there is not a shaming element of your dog rehabilitation program, then it is doomed to failure, science has proven this,” they wrote in a post. That, too, is likely a joke.

Given the site’s popularity, it will probably get to the point, if it hasn’t already, where it’s humiliating dogs for profit.

Proving once again that no animal has more to be ashamed of than man.

Add this grisly fish story to the annals of wrongly-accused pit bulls.

When the parents of an 18-month-old girl heard her cries and saw the tip of her finger had been severed, they immediately blamed the family pit bull.

They were wrong.

According to the Cook County Sheriff’s Office, the parents were at home in Maine Township, Ill., one night last week when they heard their daughter’s screams, saw her bleeding finger and realized it was missing its tip.

They called 911 and an ambulance took the girl to Advocate Lutheran General Hospital in Park Ridge, where a doctor realized that, based on the looks of the wound, it wasn’t a dog bite after all, the Chicago Tribune reported.

Frank Bilecki, a sheriff’s office spokesman, said authorities called to inform the girl’s father, who was still at home, about that.

At that point — and we can only assume he didn’t do this with the pit bull, or the story would have mentioned it – the father plunged his hand into the fish bowl, grabbing one of family’s two piranhas.

“He grabbed a knife and cut it open and found her fingertip right there,” Bilecki said.

The piece of her finger was taken to the hospital. Doctors were trying to re-attach it.

Bilecki said he did not know if the tank was covered or how the child got access to it, but he said the mother and father are not facing any citations after the incident.

In today’s world people are quick to pick a side, but, as this story seems to show, it’s sometimes best to avoid that — especially when both sides are stupid, and/or heartless, and/or negligent.

Stu Grimes got drunk Sunday night and, while his dog was in his car, fell asleep inside an International House of Pancakes in Sterling, Va.

Loudoun County Sheriff’s deputies showed up to roust him, and arrested him on charges of being drunk in public and resisting arrest, according to WJLA.

Grimes said he told officers his dog, Rex, was in the car and that they ignored him.

Grimes bailed himself out Monday, but by then Rex, a four-year old Labrador-boxer mix, had died, after spending at least 15 hours inside the car.

Grimes alleges he repeatedly asked the deputies to get Rex out of his SUV, and that deputies at one point removed his keys from his pocket and hit the panic button to determine which vehicle was his. Grimes says he continued to ask about his dog after being jailed.

But the sheriff’s office said in a statement, “…our records show no indication that Mr. Grimes mentioned a vehicle or a dog to the arresting deputies or the corrections staff at the Adult Detention Center.”

Later, after ABC7′s inquiries, the sheriff’s office changed its position, saying they did know about the car but maintained Grimes didn’t say a word about Rex.

Search the Internet comments on this one and you’ll find people saying the sheriff’s office is responsible for Rex’s death, that Grimes is, and even that IHOP is.

It’s like an all you can eat special on blame.

In our final days in Baltimore, Ace and I shifted from a house that was empty to one that was very full – of art, and art supplies, and things that, in the homeowner/artist’s view, could, with a little work and imagination, be turned into art someday.

Artist J. Kelly Lane, having an out-of-town house-sitting gig of her own, offered to let Ace and me stay Thursday and Friday in her South Baltimore rowhouse, which, she warned me ahead of time, had its quirks

You know you’re in trouble when you arrive to find a note titled “Weird stuff about my house…” and it’s two pages long.

You know you’re in bigger trouble when, in a house full of art works, you break one of them.

In the wee (literally) hours of the morning, I rose off the downstairs futon to make my way upstairs to the bathroom. I was stepping carefully through the darkness, but my knee hit a stand-up ash tray and knocked it over.

If that alone weren’t bad enough – it’s hard to find ash trays at all these days, let alone the stand up, three-foot high kind — Kelly had apparently applied her artistic skills to this one.

I’m guessing (and hoping) it was a thrift store find –as opposed to a family heirloom — one that, while already the perfect combination of form and function, she saw as being in needed a bit more pizzazz.

Someone, I’m guessing Kelly, had painstakingly painted both its post and the two serpents that make up its handle, which is the part that broke when it fell to the ground.

Now it’s 4 a.m., and I can’t go back to sleep. In addition to the guilt I feel for breaking it in the first place, I’m feeling guiltier yet for what’s popping into my mind:

Glue it back together. There’s a glue gun right there on her shelf. She’ll never know.

Blame it on Ace. With a dog as big as him, in a house filled with so much art, an accident is bound to happen. Right?

Staying at Kelly’s house was like spending a night at the museum. Her paintings cover the walls. Walk in the front door and you’re in what looks like a studio. Enter then next room and you’re in what looks like a studio. Keep going back and you enter what appears to be a studio.

She’s applied her flair to the dwelling, too – like the stair rail and stairway risers painted in leopard skin motif. In addition to painting canvases, Kelly paints house interiors, and she’s into a host of other crafts, like hand-made Valentine’s cards and decorating items like the stand-up ashtray whose handle is now broken.

Bad dog!

No. Making the dog the scapegoat isn’t a good option. On top of not being fair, what a person’s dog does is, in the final analysis, the person’s responsibility.

True, I have in the past blamed him for gaseous eruptions that did not originate from him, but that’s different – dogs are more easily forgiven than humans for that.

Then too, blaming him for the mishap would tarnish his image as the perfect dog. In reality, he’s not perfect – and I wouldn’t want him to be – but he comes a lot closer to it than I do. And when it comes right down to it, I – wrong as it might be – probably care more about his image than mine, except when it comes to farts.

Like a lot of dog people, I worry more about my dog – his health, his reputation, his “proper” behavior – than I do about my own self in those regards.

From previous visits, I knew there would be some risks at Kelly’s house – that a wagging tail, or Ace going into rambunctious “let’s play!” mode, could result in serious damage. As it turns out, it was I, in my pre-coffee, bathroom-seeking clumsiness — as Ace soundly slept — that sent things a kilter. And a standalone ash tray, no less – a true antique that harkens back to the days when smoking wasn’t a misdemeanor, and ash trays were respectable enough to be an entire piece of furniture.

I’d gone more than a month in our previous location – also somebody else’s house — without breaking anything. But then, it being an empty house, there was really nothing to break.

Now I must break the news, and somehow make things right.

Then, and only then, will I be able to go back to sleep.

(Postscript: Kelly was very forgiving, and didn’t seem mad at me. To find out more about her art, contact her at easelqueen@yahoo.com)

A beagle named Sparky is suspected of starting a fire that damaged the home of a Virginia firefighter.

Glenn Ross was about to sit down to dinner at Alexandria Fire Department Station 206 Tuesday evening when he heard a familiar address come across the radio — that of his home in Franconia.

Arriving at his house, Ross learned his wife had not been home, and his two dogs — Sparky and Brownie — had been rescued, though both were unconscious on a neighbor’s lawn. Firefighters had found the dogs under a table in the kitchen, where both spend the day.

Investigators said the fire started when a box of dog treats left on the stove top ignited, WUSA reported.

Ross believes that one of the dogs, most likely Sparky, jumped up trying to get the treats and accidentally turned on a burner.

Ross said a five-year-old neighbor saw smoke coming from the home and ran in to get his grandparents who called 911.

Both dogs were recovering at Alexandria Animal Hospital and Veterinary Emergency Service, where they were being treated for smoke inhalation and corneal burns.

A California man is blaming his dog for the fatal shooting of his wife.

John Aaron Norris, 25, of San Miguel said his dog ran underneath his feet, tripping him and causing the semi-automatic rifle he was holding to fire.

Norris is accused of involuntary manslaughter in the July 9 shooting death of  24-year-old Tasha Dawn Norris. His preliminary hearing  is scheduled to resume today.

Norris pleaded not guilty to the manslaughter charge and to a charge of  possessing an illegal weapon at his home — a semiautomatic rifle found by investigators, according to The Tribune in San Luis Obispo.

Sheriff’s deputies testified Wednesday that Norris stated he was standing on the stairs when the dog ran under his feet and tripped him. He told authorities he was holding the gun because he was planning to remove the ammunition before fire inspectors came to his home to examine new sprinklers in the condominium.

Tasha Norris was seated on a couch in the home when she was shot, according to investigators. Medics attempted to revive her, but she was pronounced dead at the scene.