ohmidog!

I base this report mostly on advertisements shown during the first half of last night’s Super Bowl — for I began to tire during Madonna’s BRIDGESTONE halftime show.

In the first half of the game, I kept track of ads, and according to my tally — and in accordance with my predictions — dogs were theme No. 1 in this year’s Big Game commercials, topping that perennial favorite, sex.

By halftime, we’d seen the controversial SKECHERS greyhound racing ad — mildly funny, at best — VOLKSWAGEN’S “Bark Side” and a DORITO ad featuring a Great Dane (above) who gives his owner some chips to buy his silence regarding the family cat’s mysterious disappearance.

Dogs played smaller supporting roles in two other ads by then, so at halftime I had it scored this way:

Dogs five, Sex three.

While sex seemed to be gaining in the second half, it scored only three times in the first, with GO DADDY’S body painting bit, David Beckham promoting either underpants or himself (I’m still not sure), and an ad featuring model Adriana Lima for the flower delivery outfit, TELEFLORA. Lima, once she is dressed, explains to us that, on Valentine’s Day, and perhaps all other days, men must give to “receive.”

Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge.

To me, that one was far more offensive than the Skechers ad, which an anti-greyhound racing group was protesting because it was filmed at a greyhound park with a poor safety record, and because they thought it would glorify a sport it finds cruel to animals.

In it, Mr. Quiggly, a French bulldog wearing athetic shoes, bests a group of greyhounds at a racetrack, winning by such a large margin that he pauses and then moonwalks backwards across the finish line — sort of like the Giants final touchdown, that touchdown they didn’t really want.

Still, scoring is everything, as the Teleflora ad tells us: Spend money on a female, perhaps in the form of a nice bouquet, and you will get you some.

Running just behind dogs and sex was the theme of death, destruction and other matters apocalyptic, including ads for several doomsday movies and one for cars that, along with their owners, survived the end of the world.

In fourth place were cute babies. Both DORITO and ETRADE ran baby ads in the first half — the latter featuring the now famous market-savvy talking baby, the former featuring a baby fired from a sling to grab a bag of chips.

DORITOS — though its dog-related ads often have a bit of a mean streak (like last year’s of a taunted pug smashing  through a door) — scored with a second dog ad in the second half, depicting a dog park where humans perform tricks and line up for a salty treat.

Our pick of the litter? Weego, the rescued mutt who, whenever he is called – “Here, Weego!” — responds by fetching a BUD LIGHT for the caller. That’s not exactly new ground in beer advertising, but this time, the star was a rescued mutt, a scrawny little dog who oozed far more personality than any of the personalities in the Super Bowl ads, like Mark Cuban, Donald Trump and Clint Eastwood. Better yet, the ad included a pitch for rescuing dogs — and referred viewers to a Facebook page where they could learn more.

Also making a strong showing were “inspirational” ads from GE, celebrating the American worker, and at least two beer ads that seemed to be celebrating the end of prohibition, nearly 80 years ago.

The most powerful, and curious, advertisement shown during the Super Bowl was Clint Eastwood’s pitch for CHRYSLER (or was it for America?). The ad shows dismal-looking footage of Detroit as Eastwood tells us, “It’s halftime in America.” Then he goes on to talk about the resilience of Americans — how, via our bootstraps and given our inner strength, we can pick ourselves up and overcome anything.

It was a moody, somber but hopeful, piece — and maybe a tad ironic given the government bailout Chrysler received decades ago.

It was not an ad I wanted to hoist a celebratory drink to — after all, if it were truly halftime in America, that would mean we’d only have 235 years left – but it was definitely one that made me want to drink.

“Here, Weego!”

(For all our “Woof in Advertising” posts, click here.)

Here’s some amazing camera work that gives you a dogs-eye view of an afternoon at the dog park.

Kelsey Wynn teamed up with his Great Dane, Bishop, to shoot the footage. He attached one GoPro camera to Bishop’s harness and used a second to capture dogs at play from different angles.

The unusual angles, and use of slow motion, provide a different perspective of dogs at play — closer, likely, to how it all appears to dogs.

I’ve never watched “Portlandia,” but I have watched some dog park behavior — of the human variety — not unlike this.

You know the type — the ones that think they, and their dog, are somehow more important than all the rest, those with newly acquired dogs, who, because they’ve read a book, or watched “quite a few DVD’s,” are experts on all things dog.

Those bossy ones, those know-it-alls, those self-righteous, sanctimonious souls who won’t share balls.

Those overbearing, over zealous, uptight ones who’d prefer it if your dog didn’t bark, or wrestle, or drool, or run, or poop.

Let me be clear — none of my friends are like this. No, not at all. But these sorts are out there. You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it. Except for them.

“Portlandia,”  IFC’s original short-based comedy series starring Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein, begins its second season Jan 6. It airs Fridays at 10 p.m., 9 p.m. central time.

Some websites seem to be huffing, wringing their hands and otherwise whining about a new dog park slated to open in 2013 in TriBeCa as part of a series of renovations at Hudson River Park.

They all seem to have decided to call it “a luxury dog park” (though its amenities seem no more than most new dog parks), they’ve all slapped a $6.5 million price tag on it (though that’s the price of all the renovations in this phase of the project, not just the dog section), and they’re all referring to things like water and shade as if they were champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries.

If we didn’t know better, we’d think that these websites didn’t know anything about dog parks, and are all just copying what the others are saying.

DNAinfo points out the park will feature separate play spaces for small and large dogs, and have “different sized doggie fountains,” neither of which strike me as luxuries.  The park will also feature — and this is a new one on me – gray-blue pavement designed to compensate for dogs’ color blindness.

Business Insider says “other luxury features include a water fixture in the center, similar to fountains children frolic through in other parks, and umbrellas for dogs to find shade in during the summer time, since initially the planted trees will be too young to provide shade.” I’d venture to say that water features aren’t unheard of at dog parks, and that humans will be making use of that shade, too.

Gawker, meanwhile, under a headline that reads “Luxury Water Park for Dogs to Disgust Everyone in New York,” predicts that “Hudson River Park will soon have a million-dollar watered-down-dog-shit fountain, which drunk NYU students will dive into no fewer than three times a week.”

I’m not sure how much of it is anti-dog, or just TriBeCa envy, but the bloggers sure seem to have their knickers in a knot over this one.

Do rich people’s dogs deserve better? No. Should every New York neighborhood get a dog park as nice as this one? Yes. Does a more a basic and natural dog park appeal to be more than this sort of modern-day one with multiple faux features? Absolutely, but then again it’s New York, and there’s not much natural left.

But whatever the case, there’s no reason to let dogs get hurt by the fallout from our class warfare, which is what appears to be at the bottom of all this.

Some members of the Community Board 1′s Waterfront Committee said they thought too much was being spent on the dog park. (Not a single one of the aformentioned reports pinpointed what that figure is.)

The $6.5 million figure is for all the renovations planned on a new two-block section of the park. Those include two curving lawn areas, landscaped bike and walking paths and a flexible open space between Pier 25 and Pier 26 with room for gatherings of up to 2,000 people.

On Pier 26, there are also plans for a boathouse and a restaurant.

Renovations to the Pier 26 area, just one phase of a far broader Hudson River Park project, still need final approval from the Hudson River Trust, which will issue a final decision in January.

Just a week after widely circulated reports of nails being found in cheese at a dog park — reports that mostly neglected to point out the incident happened months ago in South America — nails in meat have been found at a Lancaster, Pennsylvania, dog park

Lancaster police said two “large chunks of meat” were discovered Monday morning at Buchanan Park dog park, each loosely embedded with several framing nails.

Police said the meat was found  just inside the fence by a young girl and her father who brought their dog to the park.

The nails were “loosely attached” to the underside of the meat, according to the Lancaster New Era

“The dog wasn’t hurt,” an officer said. “It didn’t even touch the stuff.”

The investigation is continuing. Police asked that anyone with information call 717-735-3300.

As white and fluffy as the clouds overhead, this Great Pyrenees sprawled in the grass seems to go on forever.

That’s because what you’re seeing are really two Great Pyrenees — Pyreneeses, Pyreni? (Actually, the plural is the same as the singular.)

We stopped to photograph the pair over the weekend, while attending a fundraiser for a new dog park in Tanglewood, outside Winston-Salem.

From one angle (top photo), with the slimmer of the two hidden behind the more, shall we say, Rubenesque one, it looks like one loooooong dog.

Opal and Pearl, who are sisters, were both adopted through Carolina Great Pyrenees Rescue.

We came across this scene in Tanglewood Park in North Carolina and have been wondering how best to present it — especially after our report yesterday on how the power of the Internet is sometimes less than responsibly used (See nails and cheese).

Should we go with a fear-mongering, tabloid version: Enjoying a day of peaceful contemplation in the park, an unsuspecting human stares ahead as a vicious Great Dane, clearly on a rampage, sneaks up behind him and prepares to sever his well-shaved head with a single bite.

Or the blog version: OMG! Dude’s about to lose his head! ROFL! Arf, arf! LOL! Share this. Like this. Digg this. Fark this.

Naaah, let’s just keep it simple and go with the boring old truth: A man and a dog enjoy a lazy day in the park — so lazy that, after a good yawn, this big dog gives his owner’s dome a lick, circles once or twice and plops down beside him.

As wonderful a tool as social media is for defending, locating, rehoming, advocating for and generally protecting man’s best friend, there are times when its power gets embarrasingly out of control.

The “nails in cheese” story is a case in point — one that proves yet again that, when stories go viral, not even a dose of truth can slow them down.

“New trend at dog parks, nails in pieces of cheese, if you take your dogs to dog parks, please be careful!!” Eric “Pack Ethic” Bellows, one of many overspreading the news, reports on his Facebook page.

It’s not a “new” trend, or even a trend at all — at least it wasn’t before the photo started getting “shared” all over the Internet.

It apparently was one incident, three months ago, at a dog park in South America.

True, it was a heinous act, and should be reported, but calling it a trend, blowing it out of proportion, making it sound like it’s happening next door, is irresponsible. And scarier yet, once that starts happening, it’s often irreversible — almost out of control.

In addition to planting evil seeds in twisted minds, the photo is unnecessarily alarming thousands of dog lovers, who, always willing to speak out from the heart about mistreated dogs, sometimes don’t check the facts first.

Bellow’s Sunday Facebook post on spiked cheese — the photo and a brief and vague description – had drawn nearly 2,500 comments by Monday, and been shared by nearly 3,900 people. By this morning, there were 9,000 comments and 12,000 shares.

Most of the comments, as you can imagine, address how reprehensible the act was, and what should be done with the perpetrator, once caught.

A few ask when and where it happened — information not included in Bellow’s post.

Of course Bellows, who runs a rescue organization out of his home, is not the only one inflating the story to mythical proportions.

Through through social networking sites like Tumblr and Facebook, the nails and cheese story is spreading like wildfire, according to ThatsNonsense.com.

The website reports the single incident – a dog walker found the spiked treats in in Centennial Park, on the outskirts of Buenos Aires — was reported locally and then picked up by Perfil.com.

“After research on the Internet, we were unable to find any other stories … thus making it unlikely that this is a “trend” — rather an apparently isolated incident many months ago.

ThatsNonsense.com concludes:

“Whilst it is difficult to ascertain for definite whether this has ever happened anywhere else before, we have to acknowledge we live in a big world full of sick, twisted people so the likelihood that some future events linked to the message above happening again is certainly possible, if not likely – however this appears to be nothing more than a relatively isolated incident – there is no trend or serial “cheese spiking” occurring, and circulating this message is most likely going to be a total waste of time rather than helpful.”

Get real.

The day ohmidog!  has a fall fashion issue will be the day it’s time to hang up the old keyboard. We prefer our dogs big, natural and — except maybe for a spiffy bandana to wipe off the occasional drool and eye boogers — naked. We don’t go in for that frilly stuff.

Though, we have to admit, Jake, the 10-week-old Yorkie-shih-tzu mix pictured above does go well with denim.

And, come to think of it, the brown sweater this Chihuahua was wearing — in addition to blunting Saturday morning’s chill — does seem to nicely pick up the earth tones in his snout.

And perhaps, these pink sunglasses sported by Lily, a one- year-old mutt, do make a playful, yet elegantly sophisticated, statement.

And these were some pretty eye-catching hemp collars from Trail Paws Market — made by a mother and daughter team at their home in Advance, N.C.  (That’s mom, an ohmidog! fan who recognized Ace and waved us down, in the gap between the collars.)

But of all the fashion statements I ran into Saturday, at an event raising money for a new leash-free area in Tanglewood Park, outside of Winston-Salem, my favorite was that made by Robert E. Lee, a three-year-old (that’s a guess) border collie-lab mix (that’s a guess, too).

Wearing an “Adopt Me” vest and a bandana asking the question “Have you kissed your dog today?” he was, at once, goofy and mellow, with a playful, belly-exposing demeanor that suggested he was willing to sacrifice his dignity, or anything else, for some love.

Bobbie, as he’s known, was found tied by a six-foot chain to an abandoned trailer in Surry County, without food or water, last winter.

Since then he’s been living in foster care with Trudy, a volunteer for Surry Animal Rescue. He’s 50 pounds, neutered, crate trained, and loves children (but not squirrels and cats).

For more information about him, contact surryanimalrescue@hotmail.com

It still only exists in artist renderings, but another step toward building a dog park in North Carolina’s Tanglewood Park will come this weekend, with a Saturday “Bark in the Park” festival aimed at raising money for the project.

The Humane Societies of Forsyth and Davie Counties are sponsoring the event — Saturday (Oct. 1) from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Activities will include a Doggie Jog, a Blessing of the Animals, expert advice from local vets and professional trainers, a mobile doggie spa, agility demonstrations and contests.

Local adoption and rescue agencies will also be on hand with adoptable animals.

The proposed dog park will be located on 2.3 acres in the park’s northern end, near the intersection of Clemmons and Harper Roads.

The Forsyth CountyCommissioners voted to approve the park in July, but with the caveat that it be completed by 2012.

Plans for the park include separate large and small dog lots, an area for obedience classes, watering stations & pet waste valets, an area to hose off dogs, and some type of water feature so the dogs can cool off during the warmer weather, according to the Dog Park at Tanglewood website.

The group has raised about $20,000 of its $150,000 goal, and it continues to seek funds, services and materials from individuals and businesses.

One huge donation came from Vulcan Materials Company, which contributed $11,000 worth of construction materials.

The project also received proceeds from a recent ”Pups in the Park” night  at Winston-Salem’s minor league baseball park, home of the Dash.