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Tag: funny

Dog makes unexpected appearance with the Vienna Chamber Orchestra

Someone’s pet was drawn to an outdoor concert by the Vienna Chamber Orchestra in Turkey and joined the orchestra on stage during its performance of Mendelssohn’s Italian Symphony.

The dog didn’t steal the show, but it did seem to steal some hearts. The crowd responded with laughter at first, then applause as the pooch made itself comfortable at the feet of the first violinist.

Turkish pianist Fazil Say tweeted a short video clip from the orchestra’s June 20 performance in the ancient city of Ephesus, according to UPI.

The retriever calmly wandered on stage during the first movement, slowly walked to the side of the first violinist, and — after receiving a spontaneous round of applause — laid down at his feet, staring out into the crowd.

Conductor Ola Rudner called the unexpected moment the “cutest moment in classical music.”

Speak softly and …

We like a dog that is big.

And we like a dog that thinks big.

This one — currently enjoying his moment of viralness — qualifies on both grounds.

Out for a walk, he apparently spotted a stick he liked (more like a tree limb) and decided to bring it home.

Apparently there was no inner voice telling him he was being overly ambitious.

Apparently no outside voices advised him of that, either.

We’re not sure if he (if indeed he’s a he) dragged it all the way home or not, because we couldn’t find any story behind the video.

Nevertheless, because it seems to say something (you decide), we share it here.

Beware of “Beware of dog” signs

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There’s nothing funny about home security.

Well, maybe a couple of things.

There are some “Beware of the dog” type signs that are pretty funny in themselves, such as the one above.

And there are some that aren’t funny until you see the dog the sign is warning you about. Like this one (keep scrolling):

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The photos here are part of a collection posted by Shareably.net.

The “Beware of dog” sign is the poor man’s version of home protection.

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Sometimes there is no actual dog behind the warning, which I’m pretty sure is sometimes also the case with those “This home protected by (security company name here)” signs.

I was going to make up a fake one for Ace Home Security, named after my previous dog, Ace. Ace Home Security, in reality, would consist of that sole sign and a very large dog who, in reality, would greet intruders with wagging tail and slobbery kisses. In other words it would be entirely wireless.

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Those ads for home security systems and companies often make me laugh, too — especially when they feature comical drawings in which the burglars wear eye masks and are dressed in striped prison garb.

Do they wear that so they’ll be ready, fashion-wise, when they get arrested and sent to prison?

Such security systems are pretty fancy nowadays, and some even confront intruders with a verbal warning, as in “CPI Security! Identify yourself!”

Identify yourself?

What do they expect the burglar to say in response to that?

“I’m Tom Delaney, from Shreveport, Louisiana. I’m 25 years old, and have been burgling for, oh, about six years now. I’m married to my lovely wife, Cindy, and we have three wonderful kids, Tom Jr., Doug and Melissa. My hobbies include Tai Chi and stamp collecting.”

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“Beware of Dog” signs have some advantages over home security systems. You don’t have to remember a password, or put up with false alarms, and they are far cheaper. On top of that, you don’t have to feed them, or groom them, or clean up after them, or take them to the vet.

Still, we must point out, those who just get the sign and not the dog are missing out.

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(Photos: Shareably.net)

A 2017 resolution on those silly dog videos

Have you resolved to spend less time watching funny dog videos in the New Year?

Or more?

This one, for instance, will take up 45 seconds to watch, and you’ll never get that time back. On the other hand, it’ll probably make you smile.

We’d suggest devoting the amount of time to watching silly dog videos that seems right to you.

If you’re in need of saving some time, we’d suggest not reading the text that accompanies silly dog videos, because they most often just describe what you’ve just watched, in a very wordy manner, throwing in lots of description but no facts you haven’t already discerned from watching the video you just watched.

Here’s an example from the Daily Mail, one of many media outlets that scour the internet for pet videos they think have viral potential, and then put together — based on no other facts — some words to fill space. (If that weren’t repetitious enough, they generally post numerous stills, taken from the video they just showed you.)

So as you watch this dachshund joyfully consume the bright yellow banana he holds between his paws while lying on his back, keep all that in mind.

And know we resolve — firmly, as with all our resolutions — to never fall victim to that practice.

What happens when you dress up for Halloween as your dog’s favorite chew toy

For your Halloween viewing pleasure we present a California dog named Jolene, coming face to face with a life-sized version of her favorite chew toy.

Jolene’s owner, Emily Crisp, thought it might be fun, for Halloween, to have her boyfriend, Ben Mesches, dress up in a Gumby costume.

He walks into the room as Jolene is enjoying some time with her Gumby chew toy. Jolene looks up and registers a look of what can only be described as wonder and amazement.

She cautiously, at first, approaches the life-sized Gumby, jumps up on him, and proceeds to go crazy with joy.

Mesches, of Petaluma, initially posted the video to his Facebook account. On YouTube, it has gotten, nearly 4 million views in two weeks.

Happy Halloween, Jolene, and everybody else.

Do we really want to read our dogs’ minds?

Devices claiming to translate what your dog is thinking into human words have been popping up on the Internet for a good five years now, and some of the more gullible among us have bought them — and even contributed to campaigns to bring them to market.

There’s No More Woof an electronic device — still in the testing stages, of course — that Swedish scientists say will be able to analyze dogs’ brain waves and translate their thoughts into rudimentary English.

There’s the slightly more real but far more rudimentary Bow-Lingual, which claims to be able to translate your dog’s barks into emotions, currently unavailable on Amazon.com

There are apps — real and prank ones — that offer dog-to-human translations, virtually all of which have disclaimers saying that they should be used primarily for entertainment purposes.

And there are legitimate research projects underway around the world, with real scientists and animal behaviorists seeking to determine and give voice to what is going on in the heads of dogs.

But wait a minute. Do we really want to know?

As this bit of satire shows, we might not like the result.

It was produced by Los Angeles-based Rogue Kite Productions, an independent film company created by writer/producer/director Michelle Boley and camera operator/editor Taylor Gill, who pursue projects of their liking when not doing their day jobs.

Their spoof depicts a speech articulating device much like one a group in Sweden claims to actually be working on.

No More Woof aims to “break the language barrier between animals and humans,” the Sweden-based Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery (NSID) says on its Indiegogo page.

NSID says the device records electroencephalogram (EEG) readings from a dog that are then analyzed by a Raspberry Pi microcomputer and translated, through a small speaker, into simple phrases like, “I’m hungry,” or “Who is that person?”

Popular Science declared the project almost certainly bogus — and yet money keeps pouring in from donors.

The No More Woof indiegogo page says more than $22,000 has been contributed to the project.

Not to cast aspersions on the Swedish group’s attempt to move technology ahead, but I think Rogue Kite Productions could put that money to better use.

Stella!!! So much for that fence

We can’t attest to how genuine this video is — some commenters suspect it was staged — but it’s pretty funny all the same.

The video was uploaded to YouTube earlier this month by someone using the name Joe Ballew. And it looks like it could hit the million-view mark before the month is out.

In it, a male voice, presumably Ballew’s, can be heard showing off his newly repaired fence.

“Yep, just completed fixing this fence. Pretty proud of it I’d have to say,” the man says. “Kinda keeps Stella in the yard.”

Just how “kinda” becomes obvious seconds later — when Stella comes into the frame and easily jumps over what appears to be the new section of fence.

“Dammit,” the man can be heard to say.

What makes some viewers suspicious is that just before Stella appears, the otherwise smooth camera work is interrupted with a jolt, and a slight human grunt can be heard — almost as if the camera operator is throwing something he knows Stella, fence or no fence, is going to go after.

We, too, might question how straightforward Ballew is being, but we are still mighty impressed with Stella’s jumping ability.