ohmidog!

Wendy Diamond started planning a lavish wedding for her Maltese after learning Lucky had cancer.

It was intended as a tribute to her famous dog, and a way to raise money for a worthy cause.

When Lucky, who held the world record for being photographed with celebrities, died last month, Diamond — a TV personality, animal welfare advocate and founder of Animal Fair magazine — apparently decided the wedding should go on.

Last night it did, with a new bride — her rescued dog, Baby Hope. Diamond was hoping to break the Guinness World Record, as she did with her photographs of Lucky, by holding the most expensive animal wedding ever, and raise money for animals at the same time.

The nuptials took place last night at the Jumeirah Essex House — Baby Hope married Chilly Pasternak, a Virginia poodle chosen in an online vote — with proceeds going to the Humane Society of New York.

The extravagant touches included a $6,000 custom wedding dress for the tiny bride, a $5,000 sushi spread, and a $15,000 seven-piece orchestra, according to the New York Daily News.

Wedding planner Harriette Rose Katz, organized the event. Kleinfeld couture bridal designers Michelle and Henry Roth tailored a $6,000 two-toned, white French lace-encrusted dress with Swarovski crystals and a silk train for the bride. TLC’s “Cake Boss” based in Hoboken is making the wedding cake

The vendors donated their services. Some 250 humans and 50 dogs were expected to attend.

Diamond adopted Lucky in 1999, and the dog inspired her to launch her Animal Fair Media empire. She photographed Lucky with hundreds of celebrities as part of a campaign to stop shelters from euthanizing pets.

After Lucky died in June — while the wedding was being planned — Diamond decided that Baby Hope, a dog she’d been fostering, would make a fine bride.

Tickets to Animal Fair’s “Pet Wedding of the Century” started at $250, with “distinguished sponsors” forking over $10,000 for a table. The couple plans a honeymoon in the Hamptons.

Love is in the air at the Baltimore Humane Society.

Otie, a Maine Coon mix, and Geo, a female domestic shorthair, have hit it off so well inside the shelter’s new communal cat area that they will be wed on Valentine’s Day.

Also to be united in wedlock on the special day are two dogs who arrived at the shelter together, and who staff feel no one should tear asunder.

The shelter will require both cats be adopted by the same family. And both dogs, too. They could do that without a marriage license, but it wouldn’t be nearly as romantic.

Otie, about four and a half years old, arrived at the shelter in March, surrendered by owners who were moving away.  Geo, about a year and a half old, arrived the same month after being found wandering.

Both cats, shelter officials say, had shy personalities and were prone to staying in the back of their cages when potential adopters came around, thereby lessening their chances to be adopted.

But recent renovations at the shelter included adding a new communal cat area, where felines could stay in a homelike environment, rather than in cages lining the wall.

Otie and Geo were moved to the communal room with three other cats.

“It wasn’t long before the two found each other and became fast friends,” Wendy Goldbland, director of marketing and public relations for the humane society, wrote in an article for Patch.com:

 ”Now at any given time, you’ll see the two sleeping on the same bed together, grooming together, or lounging on the same windowsill together. They have become inseparable. The two timid felines have even begun coming out of their shells, giving each other the courage to be more outgoing.”

The wedding will take place with all the trimmings. Among those who have donated their services for the event are Cantor Ellen Schwab, who will officiate the ceremony; Flowers & Fancies, which is providing the floral necessities; and a wedding cake provided by the Bark! store in Pikesville.. (You can see a list of all involved on our “Doggie Doings” page.)

Baltimore Humane Society is now offering a “2 Fur 1 Special” on cats, but in the case of  Otie and Geo, a caring member of the community has offered to sponsor their adoption fees if they’re adopted together.

The wedding ceremonies are just one of ways Baltimore Humane Society is celebrating Valentines day.

It’s also inviting you — as an alternative to that box of chocolates — to give your loved one a gift that keeps on giving by becoming a Homeless Pet Sponsor. You have your choice of sponsoring, in the name of your loved one, a dog, cat, or rabbit. With each sponsorship you receive a photo, thank you note, and your name displayed on the animal’s space for the time period you select. Rabbit sponsorships are $20a week or $80 a month, cats are $25 a week or $100 a month. Dogs are $50 a week or $200 a month. 

And if you’ve still got love to spare, it suggests checking out the shelter’s Lonely Hearts Club, whose members are the shelter’s longest-term residents. Throughout February, those who take home a member of the club get half off the adoption fee, and three free personal training sessions.

(Photos by Mary Swift)

SWM  ISO  SFDVM … for LTR.

Better yet, I’ll spell it out: Single White Male in search of Single Female Doctor of Veterinary Medicine, and by LTR I mean not just long term relationship, but marriage.

I might be willing to give the institution another try, but only with a veterinarian.

This decision is based not only on certain financial realities with which I am confronted, not solely on being a journalist without a real job, but on my belief that anyone who has devoted her life to dogs — as long as they are not all self-righteous about it, or hoarding them — is going to be a good person.

So, yes, I plan to marry, and live happily ever after with, a yet-to-be-chosen veterinarian.

(The unidentified one in the photo above, which I found by Googling, would be fine, but I’m not sure if she’s a veterinarian or a model, or, since her left hand is hidden behind the dog’s ear, whether she’s spoken for.)

In the interest of being totally frank, even though my name is John — nice to meet you, do you come here often? – I will reiterate that at least part of this life choice is based on practical, in addition to any romantic, interests.

Ace is nearly 7, beginning to get up there for a big dog. I am 58 (though, by making it a point to take poor care of myself, I can manage to still pass for 60). I’m feeling quite fine today, but Ace is showing signs of another ailment.

He has taken to acting like a cow, but only at night.

While seeming otherwise fine, he has been exhibiting two unusual behaviors. The first is standing like a cow, declining both offers and orders to lay down. When he does finally consent to joining me on the couch, or bed, he insists on putting the front third of his body on top of me.

None of his appendages seem to be bothering him, and I’ve manipulated them all to no end. No other spot I press on seems to cause him any pain. His symptoms are not like those back-related ones he was experiencing a few months ago. He acts mostly normal during the day, but once night falls, he becomes a cow.

He’s eating regularly, his bowel movements are on schedule and his stool seems fine. (Mine, too, in case any potential suitors are wondering.)

I have Googled myself silly trying to figure it out. At one point, I was convinced it was carbon monoxide poisoning, because he was standing by the door a lot, as if to say we must leave the premises at once. When he went out, though, he did nothing, except stand like a cow some more. I went out and bought a carbon monoxide detector. It hasn’t gone off.

Last night, I began suspecting bloat, even though what’s going in, food-wise, seems to be coming out, and he doesn’t seem inflated.

I’ve even asked myself if his ailment might be something other than physical — a cognitive disorder, though it seems to early, stemming from his advancing years. But then I forget that I’ve asked myself that.

Each day he seems fine, recovered, running, playing and happy, and I cancel my plan to take him to the veterinarian. Then at night he becomes an unmoving cow again, but, unlike a cow, seems anxious about something.

So he’s going back to his vet, who’s not an option when it comes to my plan to return to wedlock with a DVM, as he is a he and he is married.

But how wonderful would it be, now and moreso in the future,  to have someone right in the same house who could observe Ace’s behavior and — contrary to my uneducated guesswork — come up with an immediate diagnosis and treatment plan?

To spare me from the anguish — and, despite any jest herein, it is anguish — that comes with knowing something is bothering your dog and not being able to figure it out?

And perhaps, even though her background is in dog health, to detect any excessive panting, or drooling, or other warning signs, that I might be exhibiting myself?

Til death do us part.

What I haven’t mentioned yet — because it’s a small thing, which has only a slight bearing on my love for veterinarians — is neither Ace nor I have health insurance, and we’re both getting to an age where that might be handy.

If I married a kindly, female, financially secure, unattached veterinarian, I can only assume Ace would get free medical care — given that Ace would become her dog, unless we parted ways, in which case, as spelled out in a pre-nuptial agreement, full custody of Ace would revert to me.

And if, in addition to making a good living from being a veterinarian, one of those rare careers that actually has a future, she had her own human medical insurance — the kind that covered spouses — that would be some highly appreciated icing on the cake. That would just make our bond even stronger.

I think we would be very happy together.

Yes, I kind of like time and space to myself. Yes, I probably work too much, definitely too much for a person who’s unemployed. True, I can’t shower you with luxurious or expensive things, but I do occasionally shower. I’m probably not “a catch.” As I’ve already stated, I will be 60 in a couple of years.

Nevertheless – and I”m going down on one knee now — I ask you, female veterinarian, will you marry me?

And, whatever your answer, can you help me back up?

(Photo: From Topcollegesonline)

Maryland law — apparently one written back in medieval times — requires that a divorcing couple that can’t agree on who should get custody of the family dog sell the dog like any other disputed marital property, and then split the proceeds.

Fortunately, that resolution didn’t seem right to a judge in Calvert County, Maryland, who instead ordered a divorcing couple to split the custody of their dog, Lucky.

Retired Prince George’s County Circuit Judge Graydon S. McKee III made the decision last month in the case of Gayle and Craig Myers, the Associated Press reported.

The judge, presiding over the limited-divorce proceeding by special assignment, decided last month that the childless couple should split custody of Lucky, meaning every six months the dog will back and forth.

“It was very clear that both of them love this dog equally,” McKee said. “The only fair thing to do was to give each one an equal chance to share in the love of the dog.”

Cesar and Ilusion Millan have announced they are filing for divorce.

“We are sad to announce that after 16 years of marriage we have decided to file for divorce. The decision was made after much consideration and time. We remain caring friends, and are fully committed to the co-parenting of our two boys,” said a statement posted on Millan’s website Friday.

People magazine reports that Ilusion Millan filed for divorce at Los Angeles court Friday, citing irreconcilable differences. She is seeking primary physical custody of the kids with visitation for Cesar, 40, as well as spousal support from the longtime host of the National Geographic Channel’s “Dog Whisperer.”

Millan came to the U.S. from Mexico with $100 in his pocket and a dream of becoming a famous dog trainer. He succeeded – with the help of some famous Hollywood clients — establishing an empire that includes dog products, a television show, a new magazine and several best-selling books.

His show begins its sixth season Oct. 9 and his fourth book, “How to Raise the Perfect Dog,” is in stores now.

Millan and his wife also founded the nonprofit Cesar and Ilusion Millan Foundation, which promotes animal welfare by supporting the rescue, rehabilitation, and rehoming of abused and abandoned dogs.

Doreen Houseman is headed back to court to gain custody of Dexter, the pug that a New Jersey court awarded to her ex-husband, deeming the dog merely another piece of property.

Today, a second trial beings on the custody of the nearly six-year-old dog, according to the Philadelphia Inquirer.

In March, a three-judge appeals panel ordered the new trial, saying Superior Court Judge John Tomasello should not have treated Dexter as just another piece of furniture during the first trial, in Gloucester County, in 2007.

Gina Calogero, Houseman’s attorney, said the appeals paned issued a “landmark decision” on pet custody. 

Tomasello originally ruled Dexter was simply property and should go to the person possessing it. “Dogs are chairs; they’re furniture; they’re automobiles, they’re pensions. They’re not kids,” he said. “Canine affection” is irrelevant, he said.

Houseman’s ex, Eric Dare, a Williamstown police officer, was awarded the dog, and would compensate Houseman $1,500 – the pedigree dog’s purchase price – the judge said.

Houseman says she is happy she won another chance to prove she should be reunited with her dog.

“I hope he remembers me. I keep hearing that a dog never forgets your scent and your voice,” she said, with a nervous laugh.”

A wife who has seen two dogs take her place in bed, relegating her to the couch, complained to Dear Abby this week that dogs are ruining her marriage.

As Abby points out, when dogs come between a husband and wife, it’s probably because the space between husband and wife has become so massive that it needs to be filled with something.

And, to my way of thinking, a wagging tail of the canine variety is probably one of the healthiest and least harmful options.

Here’s what the advice-seeker wrote:

DEAR ABBY: I love dogs, but they’re ruining my marriage. “Ivan” and I have been together 12 years, married for five. Six years ago he had to put his aged, sickly pointer, “Sergeant,” to sleep.

Two years ago I began suggesting that we get another dog. I thought Ivan had mourned Sergeant long enough, and it was time for another. We found a lovely King Charles spaniel that we named Lili. We spent a lot of fun time with her that spring and summer, then thought a playmate might be good company for her during the day while we were at work. We found Branford, another spaniel.

Ivan began bringing the two dogs into our bedroom.

Guess where they’re sleeping today? IN the bed. Guess where I’m sleeping? On the couch.

We haven’t been out on a date since the dogs arrived. We don’t go out with friends because we must be back by 10 p.m. — the dogs’ bedtime, and Ivan’s, too, of course. He is oblivious to me from the time he goes to bed with the dogs. We haven’t had sex in a year.

Help! — Only His Wife

“..The dogs aren’t your problem,” Abby (or whoever now writes the column now) responded. “When a man would rather sleep with his dogs than his wife and ‘forgets’ about sex for a year, something is wrong with the marriage.

“So start looking for a licensed marriage counselor. If your husband won’t go with you, go alone. Something tells me you’re going to need all the emotional support you can get, because your marriage has gone to the bowwows.”