Have you resolved to spend less time watching funny dog videos in the New Year?
This one, for instance, will take up 45 seconds to watch, and you’ll never get that time back. On the other hand, it’ll probably make you smile.
We’d suggest devoting the amount of time to watching silly dog videos that seems right to you.
If you’re in need of saving some time, we’d suggest not reading the text that accompanies silly dog videos, because they most often just describe what you’ve just watched, in a very wordy manner, throwing in lots of description but no facts you haven’t already discerned from watching the video you just watched.
Here’s an example from the Daily Mail, one of many media outlets that scour the internet for pet videos they think have viral potential, and then put together — based on no other facts — some words to fill space. (If that weren’t repetitious enough, they generally post numerous stills, taken from the video they just showed you.)
So as you watch this dachshund joyfully consume the bright yellow banana he holds between his paws while lying on his back, keep all that in mind.
And know we resolve — firmly, as with all our resolutions — to never fall victim to that practice.
Posted by John Woestendiek January 2nd, 2017 under Muttsblog, videos.
Tags: animal, animal videos, dog, dog videos, funny, internet, media, new year, online, pet, pet videos, resolutions, silly, videos, watching
Why is everybody doggin’ Bob Dylan?
So what if he didn’t visibly display excitement, didn’t jump up and down and wag his tail, upon learning he had won the Nobel Prize for Literature.
So what if he’s not exactly yapping and scratching at the door to attend the upcoming Stockholm awards ceremony to receive the prize from King Carl VI Gustaf.
It really seems to bother people — respected journalists, less respected journalists, and lowly drama-seeking bloggers — that Dylan has not reacted like a “Price is Right” contestant who just won the showcase round.
To those people — those who demand effervescence from a man who, until he puts pen to paper, chooses to holds most things inside — we say, first off, don’t expect everybody’s personality to be the same as your’s.
Let Bob Dylan be Bob Dylan. And respect, as well, the privacy he seems to treasure.
After the prizes were announced by the Swedish Academy, Dylan had no public reaction for weeks, which, for some reason, became news. He reportedly “refused to pick up the phone” to speak to representatives of the Nobel committee.
How does anyone know he was refusing to pick up the phone? Why is it assumed he was being petulant?
Perhaps he was not home, or was otherwise occupied, or was under the impression he can live his life at the pace he chooses, talking to who he chooses when he chooses.
How dare he? How dare he not give the news media what it was looking for?
Well, he never really has. He has always been more of a wandering, independent stray than a mindless lap dog.
For all those who were fretting over his lack of a reaction, The Telegraph reported Friday that yes, he hopes to attend the ceremony, and yes, winning the prize was “amazing, incredible … Whoever dreams about something like that?”
So much for the theory that he was going to pull a Jean-Paul Sartre, the novelist who famously declined the award in 1964.
He has said he will be there “if he can,” but many find that unacceptable as well and have deemed his behavior “impolite and arrogant.”
Maybe. Or maybe not all of us are wired for public displays of enthusiasm.
I have been accused of lacking enthusiasm, because I’m generally quiet. For my part, it was a matter of realizing if I am constantly flapping my jaws, my brain can’t process the things it needs to — be it writing a story, solving some mystery of life, or locating the items on the grocery list.
I’m just one of those people who mostly celebrates without fireworks, and on the inside. I would never be chosen to compete in The Price is Right. I’m more likely to bare my soul, if I bare it at all, to a dog.
Interviewers, the smart ones, have found dogs to be the one topic that can get Bob Dylan going.
In any event, I’d guess the dogs in his life — and he has had many — have served to help him be a loner without being lonely. I’d guess he tells them more than he tells most friends, and definitely more than he tells the news media.
One of his first poems, written when he was 16 and in summer camp, was about a dog (Little Buddy) who died a tragic death.
He once credited “a dog lying on the floor” (his name was Hamlet) with helping create the relaxed ambience in which he and The Band put together “The Basement Tapes,” while living outside Woodstock in the summer of 1967.
In addition to the song featured atop this post, “If Dogs Run Free” (which he turned into a children’s book in 2013), Dylan refers to dogs in at least 30 of his songs, according to an article in Bark a while back.
“They seem to inhabit his world, his thoughts, and, ultimately, they come to life in his music,” the article notes. “…Dylan uses dogs as a messenger for mood, as set for the stage. You can picture them wandering down dirt roads, or collapsed on creaky porches. They’re dustbowl dogs and prowling alley dogs, dogs with no collars, dogs with no homes.
“It’s a hungry, lonesome quality about them that he touches upon, a sense of being, all at once, tired and restless. They speak to the human condition that surrounds them, suggesting what really doesn’t need to be said.”
Bob Dylan has always been very good at saying what needs to be said, and even better at not saying what doesn’t need to be said.
So whether he shows up to claim his Nobel Prize, whether his speech consists of “thank you” or he jumps up and down and says “ohmigod! ohmigod!” — those are questions we will just have to keep asking in the months ahead. Or not.
The answer, my friend, is … well, you know.
Posted by John Woestendiek November 1st, 2016 under Muttsblog, videos.
Tags: 2016, animals, appearance, award, bob dylan, bob dylan's dogs, complaints, dog, dogs, dylan, dylan and dogs, enthusiasm, excited, honor, literature, media, news, nobel, nobel prize, nobel prize for literature, personality, pets, poet, poetry, privacy, private, prize, reaction
What if, in the interest of fair play, ads for movies were required to present an equal number of negative snippets to go along with all the positive ones they highlight?
It would go something like this:
“Stilted … clunky … manipulative” … The Hollywood Reporter
“Heavy handed… spottier than a kennel full of caged Dalmatians” …The Los Angeles Times
“Wow, why was this made and for whom and what the hell?” … RogerEbert.com
All of those disparaging comments — and very few superlatives — have been directed at the new movie “The Dog Lover.”
It’s a tricky little movie that starts out appearing as if it is going to be an expose of the unsavory practices of dog breeders.
What it actually is is a defense of breeders, financed by Forrest Lucas, oil tycoon and founder of Protect the Harvest — a pro-hunter organization and a staunch opponent of animal protection groups.
In other words, it is pretty close to propaganda — or maybe out and out propaganda — and, judging from the reviews, it’s not particularly artistic or creative propaganda.
Lucas is president and CEO of Lucas Oil Products. He campaigned against Missouri’s Proposition B, which was aimed at preventing cruelty to dogs in puppy mills.
And he makes no bones about what he thinks of some animal protection groups.
Lucas says he produced the movie to discourage people from supporting and donating to large animal rights organizations.
“They’re collecting money in the name of dog welfare, but there’s no welfare about them at all. They’re out there to make money,” Lucas said.
That, remember, comes from the CEO of a big oil company. (And if you can’t trust big oil companies, who can you trust?)
Of the movie, Lucas said, “I guarantee you everyone will have a tear. But they’ll walk out of here feeling good, saying ‘I get it now.'”
In the movie, idealistic college student Sara Gold (played by Allison Paige), becomes an undercover operative of the United Animal Protection Society, a fictional PETA-like organization.
Her assignment is to work undercover at a rural dog breeding operation run by the Holloway family, consisting of the handsome but gruff father Daniel (James Remar); true blue wife Liz (Lea Thompson); and hunky son Will (Jayson Blair), who, of course, becomes Sara’s romantic interest.
Sara starts off suspicious of the operation. What, for instance, is going on in that locked shed she’s not allowed to enter?
With her cell phone camera, she begins documenting what’s transpiring at the breeding operation — including the killing of a vicious dog that wandered onto the property and threatened Holloway’s daughter.
When Sara’s video footage of that event is passed on to the animal welfare agency, they manipulate it, and broadcast it, and all hell breaks loose.
The operation is shut down, charges are filed, and a trial is held — but as it all unfolds Sara realizes the family is doing nothing wrong; that they are gentle, and loving and treat their animals well.
The ruthless ones, it turns out, are those with the animal welfare agency, who will go to any means to achieve their goal.
Sara, as a result, finds herself turning against the overzealous animal protection group she works for and trying to prove the family’s innocence.
At the movie’s premier in downtown Springfield, Missouri — a state long considered a haven for puppy mills — there were some protesters, according to KSPR.
Of particular concern was the fact that, as part of the movie’s publicity campaign, an Australian shepherd puppy was being auctioned.
“The fact that we’re auctioning off this puppy, there’s nothing bad about that at all,” Lucas said. “So if that’s the best they can find, then we’re in pretty good shape.”
Clearly, he hasn’t read the reviews.
Posted by John Woestendiek July 11th, 2016 under Muttsblog, videos.
Tags: animal rights, animal welfare, animals, breeders, dog, dogs, forrest lucas, hunting, lucas oil, media, missouri, movies, pets, propaganda, protect the harvest, the dog lover
Volkswagen says this special cap a dog can wear — allowing you to monitor and stay in touch with him as he goes for a walk alone — is just a concept.
And as concepts go, we would say this would have to be one of the most stupid ones ever.
Called the Connected Dog, it’s billed in this video as the prototype for a newfangled way to walk your dog — without ever leaving home.
“Just like the My Volkswagen app, the Connected Dog is designed to make the owner’s life easier. The owner no longer needs to be present to walk the dog. After he remotely unlocks the doggy door, he is able to track the dog through both GPS and a live cam, whilst the application enables the ability to provide the dog with location-specific voice commands and rewards for spotless behavior (or ‘being a good boy’).”
In it, a dog is shown roaming the city and stopping at a butcher shop while receiving remote voice commands from his owner.
“The dog is in charge, and he has an incredible life,” Dutch dog trainer Martin Gaus explains. “We’ll have to wait to see what the future will bring, but the sky’s the limit.”
The Connected Dog cap consists of a camera that sends live video to the owner, GPS tracking to show exactly where the dog is roaming, and speakers for the dog to hear commands.
PSFK.com called The Connected Dog “a cute and clever concept.”
AdWeek reported that the video is a prank.
Achtung! made a similar prank video last year, featuring a self-driving, self-braking VW baby stroller.
This one though — early April Fool’s joke that it is — isn’t too far off the mark when it comes to some of the newfangled dog technology being marketed these days, much of it aimed at ways you can control your dog from afar, or otherwise shirk your responsibility as a pet owner.
To all who seek to do that we offer a high-tech alternative, a robot dog.
And, if you insist on a real dog, we offer a low-tech solution: Get your ass home.
Posted by John Woestendiek March 10th, 2016 under Muttsblog, videos.
Tags: achtung, advertising, animals, cam, cap, connect, connected dog, dog, dog walking, dogs, gps, headphones, marketing, media, pets, prank, the connected dog, video, volkswagen, vw, walking
A German shorthaired pointer took top honors, David Frei emitted his final bursts of color commentary and journalists waxed poetic — some more poetic than others — as the 140th Westminster Kennel Clug Dog Show came to a close in New York last night.
In the second longest running sporting event in America (after the Kentucky Derby), Best in Show was won by a three-year-old pointer named California Journey, or CJ. He beat out a shih tzu, a bulldog, a borzoi, a Samoyed, a Skye terrier and a German shepherd that had been said to be the favorite.
Or, to put it as briefly as possible: GSP beats out GSD for BIS.
CNN International summed up the contest this way:
“The competition was ruff at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show.”
A Washington Post writer exercised his writing muscles a little more. Make that a lot more:
In the dark forests of 19th century Europe, man was hungry, and wanted meat. Having escaped the horrors of the Second Millennium — the Dark Ages, the Crusades, the Black Death — to emerge from the Renaissance and the Enlightenment with a taste for democracy and venison, our species found that hunting was no longer the privilege of the aristocracy, but the passion of the masses. And, hunting game o’er hill and dale, lord and laborer alike knew they needed a best friend to facilitate their hotblooded pursuit of winged birds and many-pointed stag. But what beast — swift of foot, singleminded in its chase after even the faintest scent of prey — could best serve?
Enter the German Shorthaired Pointer — Europe’s premier hunting dog, as one enthusiast put it, that is “born to run … born to reign.” And the GSP, centuries after the breed was first developed, certainly reigned Tuesday night at the 140th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show at Madison Square Garden in New York, where California Journey, a.k.a. CJ, a prime specimen if there ever was one, took Best in Show, the contest’s top honor.
…The field at Madison Square Garden, not unlike Thermopylae after the storied 300 Spartans met their end, was strewn with the bodies of CJ’s worthy adversaries. More than 2,700 creatures, with comers from all 50 states and the wider world, thought they had the stuff to be, to coin a phrase, Top Dog. There was My Sassy Girl, a Borzoi bitch from Japan. There was Charlie the Skye terrier, from Oyster Bay, N.Y. There was Play It Again Ham, a Samoyed from Readington Township, N.J. — steady and inscrutable as the fluffy, cotton ball-shaped rock weathered the media frenzy.
Sounds almost like he was auditioning for David Frei’s job.
It was the last Westminster that will feature Frei, the much beloved color commentator who — unlike many commentators — actually knows what he is talking about.
Frei will continue to provide commentary for the National Dog Show in Philadelphia.
His resignation from Westminster was prompted by the club’s insistence that his commentary be exclusive to it.
(Photo of CJ by Mary Altaffer, AP)
Posted by John Woestendiek February 17th, 2016 under Muttsblog.
Tags: animals, best in show, California Journey, cj, color, commentary, coverage, david frei, dog, dogs, german short-haired pointer, german shorthaired pointer, GSP, media, pets, westminster, westminster kennel club dog show
Only in these mega-awesome modern times could a product that really doesn’t work well at all become a big hit.
And only in the Internet age could how badly it works be a selling point.
Fetch! is an app that lets you upload a photo of your dog and learn what breed it is, or, judging from my try, what breed it’s not.
It was released yesterday just in time for the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, according to promotional material. (Last I checked, competitors at Westminster were pretty sure what breeds their dogs were.)
The app analyzes a photo and makes a guess as to breed — using its artificial intelligence and tons of data stored in clouds.
It’s just one of the latest products to hit the market offering to guess everything from your age to your state of mind to the significance of your mustache — all via the power of object recognition, a key facet of artificial intelligence.
It comes as a Web app or download for devices running Apple’s iOS, and you can also get an idea of what it’s all about at the website what-dog.net.
I generally avoid apps (I’m app-rehensive?) so I went to the website to give it a test. I fed it three different photos of Ace, and it identified him as a Rhodesian Ridgeback each time. (He’s not.)
Next I uploaded a photo of myself and was told I was a “Chihuahua … quick witted, loving, wary of strangers and other dogs.”
(Strangers and dogs are actually the two things I’m NOT wary of.)
Microsoft is using the device’s lack of reliability as a selling point, as if to say, “Well no, it’s not really accurate at all, but isn’t it fun?”
Seems to be a lot of that going around these days.
As in the series of ads from Time Warner that make light of the sheer hell the company — once, they’d have us believe — put customers through.
As in the direction the news media has been going in ever since it realized there was an Internet.
As in all those overused hooks designed to get us to click a link on the Internet – such as awesome, epic, jaw-dropping, life-changing, pee-your-pants-funny, you’re not going to believe what happened next.
With Fetch, in my case, not too much happened next.
But its developers say they expect it to wow the masses.
“There was an interest in creating a framework that would allow you to take a domain – in our case, dogs – and recognize numerous classes, such as breeds. We were interested in enabling an app to allow you to make object recognition extraordinary, fun and surprising,” said Mitch Goldberg, one of the Fetch developers
“If you want to take photos of dogs, it will tell you what dog breed it is, if it’s one of our supported breeds. If I choose to take a photograph of a flower, it’ll say, ‘No dogs found! Hmmm… This looks more like…flower?’ But if you take a picture of a person, it’ll kick into its hidden fun mode. And in a playful way, it’ll communicate to you not only what type of dog it thinks you are, but also why.”
Follow all that? When the app works, it’s an amazing example of artificial intelligence. When it doesn’t, don’t worry, it’s in playful, fun mode.
I sometimes wonder if artificial intelligence is gaining on us, or if we’re just getting more stupid.
Posted by John Woestendiek February 12th, 2016 under Muttsblog.
Tags: ai, animals, app, apps, artificial intelligence, breed, breeds, dog, dog breeds, dogs, fetch, garage, identifier, identify, identifying, internet, media, microsoft, news, object, pets, photographs, photos, recognition
I have not yet come to fully understand these feelings I have for Trivago Man.
I’m a heterosexual male, yet I will admit I find him quite appealing.
Perhaps it’s that his face has more character than the average shill pushing a product on TV. Perhaps it’s how he always looks at least a little disheveled, rumpled even, and less than smoothly shaved.
Maybe it’s because he’s sooooo laid back. Or because you just know that — behind his charming smile, tight shirt and beltless jeans — there lies a very sensitive side.
That side is played up a little more in this commercial for Trivago, the travel arrangement website based in Dusseldorf, Germany, that seems to be running its ads on every channel in America.
Wouldn’t you just know it, Trivago man has to have a dog.
And not a big dog. Trivago man doesn’t need a gigantic vehicle or large dog to prove his masculinity. A Chihuahua is sufficient for him.
He’s a non-threatening sort, not supremely arrogant, not overly slick, not particularly young. He seems to be in, or just past, mid-life crisis age, but has kept, I’d guess, a calm and even keel through all that has thrown at him.
He’s just not your typical shiny TV guy. He appears as if he skipped going to make-up before coming into the studio, as if he may even have missed showering yesterday.
As one blogger wrote about him, “He’s so real you can practically smell the tobacco on the tips of his fingers.”
Maybe what’s so appealing about Trivago man is that he — even though he’s an advertising character — is so real.
Only one thing could have made him more real — a dog.
So it really should come as no big surprise that Trivago man got Lucky.
(You can find more of our “Woof in Advertising” posts here.)
Posted by John Woestendiek June 4th, 2015 under Muttsblog, videos.
Tags: advertising, animals, chihuahua, dog, dogs, dogs in advertising, lucky, marketing, media, pets, pitchman, spokesman, television, travel, trivago, trivago dude, trivago man, website, woof in advertising