ohmidog!

Today’s tip on how not to find a job comes via a query to The Dog Lady, that purveyor of canine wisdom whose column appears in the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

(For other tips on how not to find a job, send me $29.99 and a self-addressed stamped envelope, and then another $29.99, followed by a third and final payment of $29.99.)

But back to The Dog Lady. (That’s not her in the photo; it’s a woman in Montana who knits with dog hair.)

A reader wrote the following to The Dog Lady:  

“As a small-business owner, I recently was looking to hire a counter clerk with some technical know-how. I had quite a few applicants, including a woman I was keen to employ. In the second interview, however, she arrived wearing a striking wool vest, which she said she had knitted from the fur of her Bernese mountain dog.

This led to a long discussion of how she collected the sloughed dog fur, sent it away to be spun into yarn and knitted the sweater. It was too much information and kind of disgusted me. I ended up not hiring her and have felt guilty ever since. What’s your take on people who knit their pet? — Amy

The Dog Lady, aka Monica Collins, notes that people who make clothing from the sheddings of their dog may be perceived as eccentric — even though it’s really not that different from clothing made from the harvested fur of sheep.

Dog Lady, who refers to herself in the third person, says she personally ”cannot imagine wearing a garment knit from the hair of her dog.” But she gives the knitter points for inventiveness — even if the dog hair vest might not be included in most “what to wear for a job interview” tipsheets.

And she tells the letter writer: “As a business owner, you are free to hire whom you choose. And in this free country, there are no laws on the books pertaining to those who discriminate against people who wear dog hair couture to the workplace.”

Being an expert on unemployment, if not dogs, and having addressed this issue before, I would add this. Knitting clothing items from dog hair — though a lot of work — isn’t that new or unusual. Wearing them is not really all that freakish.

But given the country’s job situation, it might be best to wait on wearing fashions made from Fido, at least until you get the job, and it’s Bring Your Dog to Work Day.

(Photo: Larry Beckner / Great Falls Tribune)

Get real.

The day ohmidog!  has a fall fashion issue will be the day it’s time to hang up the old keyboard. We prefer our dogs big, natural and — except maybe for a spiffy bandana to wipe off the occasional drool and eye boogers — naked. We don’t go in for that frilly stuff.

Though, we have to admit, Jake, the 10-week-old Yorkie-shih-tzu mix pictured above does go well with denim.

And, come to think of it, the brown sweater this Chihuahua was wearing — in addition to blunting Saturday morning’s chill — does seem to nicely pick up the earth tones in his snout.

And perhaps, these pink sunglasses sported by Lily, a one- year-old mutt, do make a playful, yet elegantly sophisticated, statement.

And these were some pretty eye-catching hemp collars from Trail Paws Market — made by a mother and daughter team at their home in Advance, N.C.  (That’s mom, an ohmidog! fan who recognized Ace and waved us down, in the gap between the collars.)

But of all the fashion statements I ran into Saturday, at an event raising money for a new leash-free area in Tanglewood Park, outside of Winston-Salem, my favorite was that made by Robert E. Lee, a three-year-old (that’s a guess) border collie-lab mix (that’s a guess, too).

Wearing an “Adopt Me” vest and a bandana asking the question “Have you kissed your dog today?” he was, at once, goofy and mellow, with a playful, belly-exposing demeanor that suggested he was willing to sacrifice his dignity, or anything else, for some love.

Bobbie, as he’s known, was found tied by a six-foot chain to an abandoned trailer in Surry County, without food or water, last winter.

Since then he’s been living in foster care with Trudy, a volunteer for Surry Animal Rescue. He’s 50 pounds, neutered, crate trained, and loves children (but not squirrels and cats).

For more information about him, contact surryanimalrescue@hotmail.com

It’s not something the typical dog owners does, but with enough sheddings and some hard work you can make a shawl out of your shiba inu, a cowl out of your collie, a scarf out of your Schipperke, or even an afghan out of your Afghan.

Denise Rothwell of Great Falls, Montana, has turned the fur from her two Great Pyrenees — Bella and Windsor — into scarves and throw blankets, with a litle help from her mother.

Shirley Rothwell spins Bella and Windsor’s hair into yarn, and her daughter does the knitting. Denise got the idea from a book, and asked her mother to make the yarn.

“The fur is white and beautiful. Great Pyrenees are double coated, with a long top layer and a short downy under layer. It’s really quite pretty. I first made her a scarf and I am working on an afghan,” Shirley told the Great Falls Tribune.

Shirley, with Bella and Windsor at her side, demonstrated how to spin shed dog hair into yarn over the weekend at the Montana State Fair.

Denise combs her dogs on a regular basis and collects the hair in plastic bags. She turns it over to her mother, who washes it with Dawn dishwashing soap and places it in a lingerie bag to soak in 140 degree water.

Dawn, Shirley said, takes out that wet dog smell.

Shirley has started an afghan made up of the coats of all six of her Great Pyrenees her daughter has owned. Denise sees it as a way to preserve her memories of them.

“Some people keep ashes or other mementos for their pets, and this is my memento,” Denise said.

(Photo: Larry Beckner / Great Falls Tribune)

We’re not taking credit (or blame) for these, just passing them along, as they were passed along to us — the top 10 Pet Peeves of Dogs:

1. Blaming your farts on me … Not funny … Not funny at all.

2. Yelling at me for barking. I’M A DAMN DOG.

3.Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Woo hooo! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for ‘the big snip’, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9.Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven’t you noticed the fur?

10.How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You’re just jealous.

Petfinder has announced the results of its dogs in ugly holiday sweaters contest, and they’ve chosen three submissions to go on ugly holiday e-cards that you can send by going here.

Of course, we’re using “ugly” in a nice way. Perhaps we should spell it a different way, like phat instead of fat. How about “uglee?” Something that is uglee, pronounced ug-LEEEE, is so hideous as to actually be cool; whereas ugly, pronounced UG-lee, is, well, just plain ugly with no redeeming value.

Feel free to use my newly coined hip phrase at your will. But back to the contest winners.

Above is Bella, a lab/pit bull mix adopted from the Bowling Green Warren County Humane Society (in Kentucky). Her owner, Megan Fisher, says they call this her ”Cosby Sweater” and reports that she loves wearing it.

 The other finalists included Kasey, who has outgrown the number being modeled above, and Landon, a Yorkie mix currently up for adoption through PPAWSS, Promoting Pet Adoptions and Welfare in Sulphur Springs (Texas).

Then there was Hot Momma, the Chinese-Crested (a breed that actually needs sweaters) who was submitted by Angela M. Shatzer of Carolina Poodle Rescue in Spartanburg, SC; and Isabel, whose owner notes she ”definitely looks like a chub of sausage in this sweater.” Isabel’s not fond of the sweater, but it keeps her from rubbing the hair off her belly.

You can see all the finalists and read about them on Petfinders blog.

But be forewarned, they (the sweaters, not the dogs) are ug-LEEEEEE!

(Photos courtesy of petfinder.com)